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Saturday, January 3, 2015

What is breakfast

Breakfast is exactly what it describes, the first food you eat to break your fast from sleeping. Well, hopefully sleeping, that doesn't always happen, but also hopefully you haven't been up eating all night and have fasted so your immune system can get maintenance done on your body. And by you I of course mean me. Anyway, fruit is the easiest food for our bodies to assimilate after a fast, so that is Fuhrman's choice for the six week program and will be mine on most days. But weekends, and by extension weekend breakfasts, I think we will all agree, are a little different and even special.

This morning R was making chicken salad to break her fast and I was inspired to make a chick pea salad; same 'other' ingredients, different main protein. (I had already had my lemon water.)

Breakfast: smashed chick peas, chopped bok choy, green & white onion, apple and slivered almonds. Plus a little garlic powder, salt, freshly ground pepper and Mayo.

I don't plan on buying more Mayo once the jar is gone, and only use it sparingly when there are lots of vegetables involved. I may succumb to having it on hand but that doesn't mean I have to use it every day or even every week. It's about balance and choices and being accountable if I want to move better, breathe easier, reduce inflammation in my hands, feet and hips and get pain free. Which I do want. Every day. Very much.

And I think these are the right reasons for wanting a healthier vehicle to move around my brain, my soul, my spirit. Wearing cute jeans is always desirable, but as Sean reminded me in his blog today we cannot measure our worth by our size. We cannot let our size dictate how we feel about who we really are aside from our physical bodies. Over the years I think many of us confuse the two and let them become intermingled. I think his words from the linked entry are note worthy and I bookmarked them so I can read them again later today if I feel weak or tempted or sidetracked. While our bodies ARE what we eat, if we eat badly does it diminish are best characteristics on the inside? I think the point is that it doesn't, or shouldn't. Even now I am rationalizing his intention because it's so hard for me to divorce my 'true' self from my outer layers of fat and bad choices.

There is a small glowing particle of confidence inside of me that knows I am wonderful. That I am kind and helpful, that I respect my work and try to do a good job always, that I am dependable. My job is to grow this glowing bit into an ember, and then a campfire, and then to let go and just light the forest that is myself on fire with all the goodness that is me.

I used to play the Pollyanna game all the time, which I have written before, and I still do. But I need to play it with myself, and spend more time finding my own good bits and pieces to celebrate. Which brings me back full circle to Meditation and how badly I need to focus on that missing piece. I wonder how many years it has been since I first decided that, and how badly I judge myself for not following through. See - there it is again. Reminder to self: all the other good bits are still there, a flaw does not diminish them. I am more than just the negative parts, and I need to get over myself and out of this damn pity pool.

And isn't it interesting that I see myself as fragments. And wet. Sigh.

Lunch: last of veggie soup
Dinner: Chipotle burrito bowl - no cheese, meat or sour cream

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