Search This Blog

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Balance; splurges, energy and mood

This morning my mind was on bacon; don't judge it happens to most of us. I knew there were four pieces left in the fridge because I had purchased them last week for the Monday night dinner that A and I made for the Fam. (them, not me) so R could go grocery shopping after work.  There is also a ripe tomato and wheat bread so I am thinking BLT for breakfast. This would be perfect as they have plans to go out and there isn't really enough bacon to share around and we are ALL bacon hounds. But it's more salt and fat than I want to ingest so I will need to juice my other meals to balance out the splurge. This is a must for me, I know from past experience that I need to keep each day in balance. If I try to make up for it during the week it will likely never happen.

My plan for natural movement today is to get out of the house and go somewhere my eyes can feast. I spent a lot of time yesterday on chores and only left the house to make trips to the garage and back. I need more outside time and am determined to get it. Weird that I should have to force myself to do something I love, and miss, and crave. But that is the nature of what I can only describe as mild depression. I have lived my whole life this way, battling between my inclinations of hermit and nature walker. I hate to bring up H, but him bringing archery into my life was incredible; most archery tournaments are in State Parks and I relished all the green and fresh air and beautiful vistas. Why this isn't enough motivation on it's own to regain my health and fitness so I can once again participate I can only ascribe once again to the blanket that covers me most days to dampen any sort of ambition that may lurk inside my thick skull.

Where to go; water, ocean, delta, mountain - they are all within driving distance and thanks to Mom's christmas check gas money is not the deterrent it might normally be. Maybe I should take my bow to the archery range and just fling some arrows. Maybe. We'll see.

ARGHHHH. First McD's for Decaf to stave off the burgeoning headache, then to Walmart for some more big clothes. Not that I intend for them to fit for long, but I need more comfortable choices so I am not frozen in the morning and feel like I can just get dressed like a normal person and go out into the world.  THEN on the way home the wrong song came on and I realized I was bordering on Mania (shopping spree, positive attitude, energy) and that a visit to the bottom would soon follow. I have a love hate relationship with feeling alone. Is it because there is no 'mirror' to gauge myself by? That's so ridiculous. I need to keep moving today and not dwell or let regrets pile up and especially I don't need to send a pity party text! That's even worse than drinking and dialing and I won't do it. I'm not willing to know that door is nailed shut nor do I wish to open it. Blathering aside, I need to DO something so that I will quit thinking. Move move move move move....and a deep breath.

I was able to focus my energy on cleaning out the fridge to make room for fresh veggies, go out for groceries with A, make a batch of fresh juice, and potato soup. I divided the juice into four jars and added a tablespoon of Chia seeds to each one for later consumption. The recipe for the soup is below because it is wonderful. If you like artichokes. Because that is what sun chokes taste like to me.

Watching 'The Other Woman' helped as I laughed out loud so often, great little chick flick. I'm still worried about the rebound but I'm focusing on the even keel I've experience this past month and thinking positive thoughts that it continues. And popping ibuprofen for the aches so the pain won't get me down.

Omega 3's, plants, exercise, productivity, laughter - all my best defenses have been deployed. I am hopeful. Despite it's being only 4ish and I've already had dinner.  Better plan on drinking one of the juices later for a snack at seven. And hydrate - more water, I forgot that.

Breakfast: Homemade BLT
Lunch:  green juice
Dinner:  homemade potato soup, coconut water
2nd Dinner:  slice of cheese pizza

Green Juice: green apple, bok choy, lemon, ginger, cucumber, carrot, coconut water

No comments: