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Friday, September 21, 2012

Another Blog

In an attempt to separate my rantings about food from the rest of my craziness and to hopefully garner some support in my attempt to walk more and eat healthier I set up a new blog this week. Hopefully the friend I invited to join me will participate. I didn't get off to a great start, but that would be typical of me. Walkabout is intended to be a place we can share how our day went, be honest and make progress in the right direction: walking more and making healthier food choices. Even if it turns out to be just me, eventually I can merge the blogs, I think. Guess I am still looking for that one magic bullet (pun intended) that will help me care enough to turn the corner from good intentions drive to healthy girl boulevard. The above link is to my incredibly depressing day two post at the new blog. Things are not looking up - YET! But they will, even in my food induced drug haze I can at least see that  much. They will.

Monday, September 17, 2012

A quiet walk

It is rare that I can convince myself to leave the house to walk unaccompanied. I have to have a story in my ears to venture forth, a distraction, a shield from my thoughts that tend toward the morbid once let loose. But this morning my shuffle was not cooperating and time was running short if I was going to walk before work.

I'll thank Danni for the inspiration to get my feet out the door. (Dani's Blog)

I took a deep breath, clipped Kaylee to her leash and headed out in my toe shoes, which I think Dani calls her monkey feet.

It wasn't too bad. A few songs inserted themselves into my walking rhythm, I heard little noises I don't normally register with my ear buds in, and mostly just enjoyed the quiet. It could have been prettier, the high grey clouds casting a pall over everything, but that in itself lends an appreciated gloom to the walk.

It is becoming a habit, these early morning jaunts.

Good for me!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Photo Op

Yesterday morning I was up at 6 and out the door for a walk, and arriving at the pond some ten minutes later I found a beautiful picture waiting for me. The pond was perfectly still and darkly glassy with a small family of ducks gliding ever so quietly through the moonlit dappled water; not a ripple did they make. The backdrop of  foothills crested with the pale strawberry of a burgeoning sunrise intensified the stark black outline of the trees growing on the banks of the pond, and above it all in the still mostly black sky were the old and new moons joined at the crescent while a bright planet anchored the whole breathtaking scenario from its place of honour high above. (get a grip girly..anyway...) My kingdom for a camera, I thought. I really need to start taking one with me when I actually get out and about.

I kept my eyes searching upwards as I made my way home, admiring the different views and how one tree in the foreground made me think I was slogging my way through a jungle while the next bristly outline took me swooshing into a forest. Perspective, that mover and shaker of personalities, ideas, prejudices - we are not just what we eat, we are what we see and feel and hear. And if I think we are all so wonderfully unique, why can I not appreciate those differences in others? Why am I missing the gaggle of girls on my side of the gymnasium instead of being irritated by the different (and oh so obviously wrong) perspectives of others?

Why my brain is beating this particular dead horse I have no idea. And my choice of words saddens me because they are so bereft of hope. I am what I am and everyone else go fuck themselves?

How mature am I!?!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

From the Shoulders Up

My sis gave me some CD's from Aligned and Well some time ago, and I discovered a little Rhomboid Push up that really helped with temporary relief of my back pain. Today I am determined to follow all of the exercises in the entire CD, From the Shoulders Up.  Why am I so stubborn about exercising at home? So I have to move a table out of the way, so there may be someone tripping over me to get to the door, so my little dog will be licking and wiggling and snuggling all over my face while I try to exercise. I hate bad excuses.  So this Saturday I will walk, and do the alignment exercises, and do my home office work.

Hopefully a manageable Saturday.

I find it interesting that I was previously without a tag for Exercise. This has been remedied.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

A darling girl

Some memories are seared into ones brain, and so it is with the drive to Merritt hospital in Oakland on the morning of September 5th, 1980.  I remember the feel of the morning, the closeness of my husband and myself in the car, the excitement of knowing that this day we would greet our new daughter. While the interlude is a little fuzzy, the actual birth, the tasting of wine by all, and the total satisfaction and exhaustion of a job well done will remain with me forever. I can close my eyes and be back in the hospital,surrounded by the dim light that filtered through the hanging curtains by my bed, and revel once again in the perfect little face of my daughter.

I am so grateful

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Stretched out flat

This morning I was stretched by KP and actually felt taller all day. I hope the traction helps. Seriously.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Labour Day, how I offend thee

Words tumbled out of my mouth this morning, tired, I suppose, of being caged for so long. Honest words but hurtful. I don't want this life anymore. And I have hurt my friend, and myself, but it is a long time coming and there is no going back. I don't know how we will make it through this, but we will. There is a life for each of us out there, but in the meantime I am left with a quaking stomach and frayed nerves. I certainly know how to ruin a holiday, which is rather ironic given the way this one has unfolded.

But that was the trigger after all - I can't go through another holiday season in this half life I have created for myself. I just can't. Instead I have to be brave and trust that everything will work out. Not as it is intended, I don't buy into that, but just as it will. Please let there be a lit window for each of us to open after the closing of this particular door. Please.

Sunday, September 2, 2012


I have loved the idea of having a Vitamix for years, but couldn't justify the expense. Now that my Magic Bullet has died and I couldn't get my hands on a Nutribullet yesterday I am once again contemplating investing in the Vitamix. How is spending $350 at once worse than diddling away $25\Mo on a gym membership I no longer use?  14 Months of waste or 14 months of fresh healthy soups, spreads, dressings & smoothies. And if I want to juice I just use a 'juice' recipe and strain it through cheesecloth or a nut bag. Why juice?  Eliminating the fiber so massive amounts of micro nutrients have a straight shot to your cells without the toll booth of digestion slowing the process down. It's the whole go to bed with an empty stomach so your immune system has a rest from digestion and can get on with maintenance and repair work idea put into place 24/7.

I've just about sold myself. I saw the Vitamix box at Costco yesterday. I've spent the morning reading reviews and testimonies and blogs etc.  I'm only hesitating because of my penny pinching gene.

Time to scrutinize the budget.

But I think the recipe for this Autumn Smoothie may have sold me.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Hot & Cold

I want the mornings warm enough to walk without bundling up and the evenings cool enough to roast veggies in the oven. Those are rare and wonderful days, and apparently today will not be one of them. My little piggies are yelling at me to climb back into the warm bed and a cold green smoothie for breakfast is the furthest thing from my mind. Instead the box of butter pecan cake mix is calling me from the kitchen. I brought it home thinking to make dessert last night using it in conjunction with the can of pumpkin I have camped out in the cupboard. Just the idea of having the aroma of baking cake wafting through the house is making me salivate. Oh what a wretched creature am I!

On the flip side I need to go pick up a new Bullet, after years of abuse mine finally died. I see they have a new Nutri Bullet now- "more power" as Tim the tool man has often said. I envision a long weekend of healthy food and numerous walks, tick marks on the honey do list, and maybe an outing to the local chop shop for some much needed attention to my hair.

Another Saturday, another chance to catch up, clean up, and make up for lost time. And all I want to do is put a cake in to bake and curl up with a good book.  Like I could hold a book. Or should eat the cake.

And I can't find my Fitbit again!