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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Five of Thirty (5/30)

Yesterday: All my water, somewhere around 5,000 steps, good food. Dinner was not the healthiest choice given my goals during this 30 day stretch, a Mediterranean Rustica pizza from Zpizza, but as pizza goes light and fresh and wonderful.  We had wine with dinner, also yummy, and enjoyed the company of our fiesty 3yr old GD.

Today we have a tea party at same GD's house, and I am making guacamole sandwiches to take. Smashed up chick peas with a little garlic, onion and avocado will make the spread for little tea sandwiches. I know my daughter will be baking; at our last tea party I was able to limit my intake of her wonderful fresh baked sour cream and cinnamon bunt cake to one piece. So I have high hopes of not making a pig of myself today.

So off to the store for the bread to make the sandwiches, then home again to mix up the spread. I think sharing a green smoothie with Sis this morning will be a nice light breakfast before the tea at 11am.

Flip Flops here I come.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead (4/30)

Last evening while finishing up preparation of the guest room for my Sister's visit I finally finished watching the film from Join the Reboot. This was the initial inspiration for my thirty day Water Cure plan; watching others saturate themselves with micro nutrients and get better made me remember why I originally started leaning towards a plant based diet. I have previously discarded the idea of 'juicing' because my mind rebelled against separating the juice from the fiber in the plants. But as a way to 'reboot' your health and clean up inside maybe I was wrong, as happens way too often.

Now that I have seen the end of the movie, I am more determined than ever to do my own juice fast. I won't be following their plan exactly, I can't really afford to use organic plants, but other than that I do plan on finding someone with a juicer to borrow, or getting one cheap online somewhere. Then to Kaiser for current blood work so I have a starting reference point, and then on to juicing.

Also on my mind is my online friend Jayne. She started eating vegan last year, and the picture she posted yesterday shows a vibrant happy woman just glowing with health; I want that too.

I am excited for D to get here today, she is all about taking care of herself and I know she will be all for helping make a batch of veggie soup, and at the same time not be adverse to some wine and guacamole while we visit. Also on the agenda is a trip to the movies to see Brave if she hasn't already seen it.

Yesterday was mostly fine until evening. I did get all my water in, but missed my afternoon walk and ate too little too early for dinner and around 8pm I was Starvin Marvin. There was one ripe avocado on the kitchen counter and one flour tortilla left in the fridge; they made a perfect second dinner - perfect in the sense that it was yummy and satisfying anyway.

I have just finished my morning water, have my food planned for the day, and while I dread just a little bit the component of this visit where she feels the need to 'fix' me, I am very much looking forward to seeing my Sister this weekend.
 3367 steps taken

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Three's a Charm (3/30)

I was tempted to start over after indulging in a bakery roll with a smear (scant) of butter on it with dinner last night and a few forkfulls of Deli Mac N Cheese, but then I remembered this is about the water and the plants and in those respects I have had a successful two days and I am on to the third. Just that fleeting thought that I haven't been perfect so how can I say it's the third day makes me realize how hard I am on my self. When I decided to do this Water Cure for thirty days I wasn't coming from a standard american diet. Sure, I had a hot dog for lunch one day last week because H had cooked them and I couldn't resist. And yes, I had driven through for a sausage muffin on the way to work more than a couple of times recently, but the rest of the time I was already eating mostly plants. So this plan of mine isn't off my beaten path, it's more of a way to wander back on to it.

My latest internal mantra, 'Eat food, not too much, mostly plants' is from Michael Pollan's book, In Defense of Food.  Add to that my previous mantra from Dr.Fuhrman, 'eat healthy at home' and there is the foundation of how I would like to eat. but since we no longer eat out as much, instead of getting my roll with butter before dinner at a restaurant, I can pick up a single roll from the market to have at home once in a while. It use to be I did that on grocery shopping day, sometimes using it to make a sandwich, sometimes to dip in soup. Last night I dipped it into my bowl of  S&W's jalapeno & black bean concoction. Delicious! I would have stopped at the first half of the roll, but the beans were so spicy I went back for the 2nd half to cool my mouth off. So a chopped salad, a bowl of beans and a roll for dinner; my kind of meal!

Yesterday went well. Got in all my water, took a short walk at lunch, and ate per plan except for the relatively small indulgences at dinner. But after taking my GD shopping after work I didn't have the energy to make soup. This is also when I picked up the aforesaid treats. Realizing how challenging this week was going to be in terms of getting things done, I realized I probably wouldn't be doing much cooking. So I picked up an Amy's entree for dinner tonight, and some ready-made veggie soups to take for lunches. Not a good long haul decision because of the salt, but better than driving through Carl's junior for a taco salad (no meat) or a bean burrito.  I figure I can wait to make soup this weekend; my Sister is coming to visit and it will be fun to visit while we chop veggies and drink wine.

Speaking of which, now that I have posted and finished my morning water I need to get busy. My home office could be a bit less cluttered; she should at least be able to walk to the bed without a guide and a map!

  4439 steps taken

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Dose (2/30)

Yesterday I stuck to plan with the exception of a piece of buttered toast with honey. What can I say, it was the last lonely slice, and it sang my name so sweetly I had to succumb to it's siren call. Toast with a little butter (okay, more than a little) and a drizzle of honey is a wonderful dessert. But the rest of the day went according to plan. I drank all my water, stuck to my eating guide, and took a short walk at lunch. It was a frustrating day at work, colorful details herefrom deleted, but I kept my hand out of the candy dish and drank spicy tea from my thermos. I wasn't all that tempted, it was just a passing thought that I batted away.

Of note was the Cameo apple I ate on the way home from work - it was unexpectedly perfect for this time of year, I would guess it had to be the end of last year's crop. Sweet, crisp, juicy all at once with a hint of  earthly crab apple flavour. Well do I remember from my childhood taking the boat across the lake to the crab apple tree and munching on small green apples on the boat ride back. (They were perfect snacks or projectiles depending on the day.)

This morning I have just finished my 3 cups of water; it really is a wonderful way to break my fast, the cool water coursing through me in a very refreshing way. Sort of satisfying to feel my body respond in such an immediate and pleasant way.  Today's plan is much the same as yesterday. I have one more container of homemade veggie 'baked' beans to take for lunch, another apple to pack for the ride home, and enough chopped lettuce to throw together a quick salad for dinner.   I will have to do something this evening to prepare for tomorrow - maybe throw together a veggie soup. My granddaughter will be here for a bit and loves to help in the kitchen; I can find something for her to do to 'help', it will be fun.

Thinking back to yesterday, I think I forgot to mention that my plan includes 2 doses of healthy fat each day; 1T of ground flax meal in the morning smoothie and another small serving of nuts or seeds in the evening. Last night it was a small handful of sunflower seeds in my salad, I'm thinking pecans tonight. But the serving of flax meal in the morning is really one of the cornerstones of this plan. Without it I sink into depression so quickly, never noticing until about the third morning sans smoothie that I am having dark thoughts and feeling cranky. I expect by tomorrow after my third morning back on track that I will notice an improvement, and I don't care if it happens because of the omega 3's I'm feeding my brain and heart or because I make it happen by expecting it to happen, the fact that it will happen is enough for me.

My FITBIT is charged and clipped on, my plan in place for the day, and my mood already slightly elevated just because I am taking the time to care for myself. Later Gator.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Water Water Everywhere (1/30)

Yesterday I was up at 4:20am pulling on my  jeans and getting ready to drive my partner in to the emergency room; he had been having pains in his arm and needed to be checked out. Watching him go through all the testing at the hospital is my impetus for today's action. Just having lived through one of the most depressing periods of my life so far is probably the backbone of this decision; I am tired of being in pain and being depressed about it.

Having just watched most of the film 'Fat, Sick and nearly Dead' (damn internet) I had already been encouraged to go back to eating healthy. While I may not be able to stick to a juice fast for 60 days like he did, I am going to take encouragement from his swift return to health and implement a plan of my own, tailored to my needs, and beginning with a month of going back to the basics. I think starting my day with water first (see Water Cure) and then blending up a green smoothie  for breakfast will be my absolute morning ritual.  Something homemade and\or vegetarian for lunch at work and an apple to eat on the way home from work will take care of the afternoon. Then either a chopped salad or another green smoothie for dinner. This is the plan, one versatile enough to stick to, and strict enough to get fast results.

Drinking 3 cups of water each morning, 6 cups at work, and another 3 after work will bet me close to the 100oz that the water cure recommends for my weight. I know I have been running a little dehydrated lately anyway and need to get back into the habit of drinking more. I will count herbal tea towards my total; I often make a thermos of tea to drink at work, this morning I will measure how much I am actually taking so I can count it.

Green smoothies are easy, I've been drinking them for years and always feel better after just a couple of days. I attribute this to not just the greens but to the tablespoon of flax meal I add; I'm already looking forward to the emotional lift.

Cooking on weekends to have a batch of something health to take for lunches is easy and I will stick to that for the next month. No throwing up my hands and giving in to fast food temptation because I am frustrated at work. If the girls want to go out, there is always a healthy choice within walking distance. Saying no to grilled cheese will be easy, it's only recently I have been indulging more than is prudent and I think it's one of the main reasons I feel so crappy. Deadly Dairy!

Chopping on weekends will be a standard too; having a tub of chopped veggies to throw a salad together for dinner makes it a much easier choice. I do have to be careful with dressings and go back to making my own. There are so many wonderful flavours, I don't know why I stopped other than laziness. Well, the craving for fats plays some part here. I'm not sure why this is happening, a reaction to stress I think. I brought home a pound of butter last week (impulse buy) and it is already gone; toast and potatoes baby!

So there it is, a plan for the next four weeks, after which I hope to feel well enough to do a week of just green smoothies so I can really make a dent in how I feel.  What is driving this? Pain. Plain and simple. I am tired of being in pain every day and for my sanity's sake need to put a stop to it.

This morning's water is gone, and I am off to take charge of the rest of my day.

Status:  shoulder hurting, arm tingling.

Monday, June 18, 2012

"I get knocked down, I get back up again"

A lot can happen in three months, or as it has been so noted a million times in as many ways, your life can change on a dime. After the start of my new job came vertigo, a stomach virus, missing a week of work, and a deterioration of health that caught me by surprise. I have always been strong and healthy, and I suppose like most of us I have always taken it for granted. So I have bitten the bullet and signed on for health care at work. While I wait for July 1st when I can make an appointment to be checked out, I swing between eating healthy and taking very short walks and driving through for hot chocolate and sausage muffins to muffle the stress. To care or not to care, that is the question. Forget the whole being thing.  Feelings are often complicated, and mine are no exception. I am somewhat ashamed of my thought processes during these last few months, of the way I buckled to panic and even more so of the small cold survival kernel that is influencing decisions I make - It appears that I can be a little bit cold hearted to achieve what I perceive to be necessary.

At some point during my illness I fell, and I think it was at this point I injured myself. Something to do with my neck, arm and chest that keeps me in pain daily - hence the importance of finally going to get checked out by a doctor after 3 years without insurance.  I dread it all - the tediousness of the waiting room, the irritation of sitting in a paper jacket while I wait to find out who I have drawn in my choice of physician. I am already praying for someone smart, intuitive, and engaged. Not in the sense that they are to be married, but rather that they are actively interested in the process of bringing health to their patients.  I met such a doctor back in March, when I was so sick I made an appointment to get checked out; my vertigo wasn't going away and I had to get to work. And with that appointment my perspective on my health changed a bit. I am not ready to write about it, but suffice it to say I have been bouncing between scared and cautious and wary and not giving a fuck.

But I do have some things to keep me focused, again not ready to write about it, and I somehow convince myself everyday that I do care and that it does matter.

My positive note to end this sorry diatribe; my broken FitBit has been replaced, and today I start once again to make an effort to motivate myself. God forbid I should have to tell the new doctor anything but that I have been trying.