Today went well, from planning to follow through. My last trip to buy groceries I picked up some of the Ezekial 4:9 cereal; last night I sliced up a banana and put it in a container with a 4oz of greek yogurt. I weighed out 4 oz of cereal to keep at work, and once I was settled at my desk I measured out an ounce to add to my bananas and yogurt. It was a nice change from oatmeal, to have the crunch.
The girls were picking up lunch from the local deli, and their soup of the day was vegetable barley beef. The one I can have! So a nice change from the bean soup I had in the fridge; they make soup from scratch every day and my bowl was packed with green beans, carrots & onions. I trust their recipes, and gave away my bread. Grapes were my fruit. Dinner tonight was tri-tip, a big salad with asparagus, and TJ's potatoe salad. I like making a salad then keeping my bowl on the scan and adding on the meat. I did the same thing last night with roasted 'natural' chicken from the store. Depending on the day and how I'm feeling and how busy I am etc etc I sort of gravitate between the losing and maintinaing meal plans. So sometimes I have one serving of grain a day, sometimes two, and then like today it becomes three. Sharing a meal with the family is nice, and saves me food prep.
Gotta go, a little cuddle bug is pushing against me.
Thursday, October 31, 2019
Wednesday, October 30, 2019
Breaking a Bright Line
Yesterday was a little off, but not a disaster. It began with me packing breakfast and lunch then hitting the road for the court house. First I went to the wrong courthouse (because that's how I roll), hitting traffic and finally passing a downed motorcyclist. That was disconcerting; no emergency vehicles yet, just a body in the road and a couple of parked cars helping out. Luckily the starting time at the correct location was half an hour later and a half hour's drive away; I made it just in time after struggling to find parking and irritated almost beyond containment. Sometimes I reach a point of frustration and my flight instincts kick in strong, but I stayed. I wasn't giving up after trying so hard to get there. I signed in, watched the video, and was called. At Jury selection I was dismissed because the estimated time just to present the evidence was ten days. How pathetic that at my age I can't afford to miss a single paycheck. What can I say, it's been a challenging year, and I didn't have much to start with.
Breakfast was rice cakes with peanut butter and a banana. My current favorite. I had packed a salad with cheese for my protein and an apple for lunch, but of course there's a story. Arriving for work at noon after my dismissal there was no close parking, I forgot my lunch bag in the car and didn't want to hike out after it. I did have a container of bean soup in the office fridge, and supplemented it with veggies from the potluck to round out my lunch. Dinner was leftover meatloaf, and I think corn and a salad but I'm fuzzy right now and can't really remember. More on that later. I do remember that about 11pm I was 'starving' and had more meatloaf - a definite broken line. I hadn't able to sleep, and I think that I needed the weight of the food to fall asleep. But no flour or sugar.
I didn't even think about the broken line this morning. I got up, made my Bright Line breakfast, packed my Bright Line lunch, and headed off to work knowing exactly what I would be having for dinner when I returned home in the evening. I planned what I would eat, and ate it. No flour, no sugar, no snacking. Back on track without missing a beat.
So about not remembering dinner clearly; I was really tired after being distraught most of the day. C is having a really hard time with this treatment phase and we hold him a lot. Cuddle him a lot. Try to distract him. We know he isn't feeling well, and it wears on all of us. I remember us sitting on my bed playing Legos - he loves the small pieces, a whole bag of miscellaneous parts left over from his sister- and I remember sitting together watching paw patrol. But I don't remember eating dinner. I know I must have, but the details are beyond me at the moment.
This makes me think about an old trick, or tool if you will, that I have used before. If I couldn't remember exactly everything I had eaten during the day, it meant I ate too much. I realize now that I wasn't snacking then, it was too hard to remember and I didn't want to have to log my food. While snacking on the weekends has always been a given, I rarely would snack at work. It's only been this last year that the team has all been snacking. Partly stress, partly group mentality. I snapped at them today, explaining about our 15 minutes of will power and how everytime I see the box of donuts I have to decide not to eat one and to PLEASE PUT THEM AWAY. Sigh.
Tonight I am tired. And a little disappointed that I am not feeling more energetic yet. On a happier note, I fit into last year's winter pants this morning. It was too cold to put on the Capris I've been wearing since Spring (California girl) so I pulled out some leggings from last year and they fit. Several other pairs also fit, and it felt good. I know that XXL isn't a great size, but it's better by far than a triple X!!
Baby steps. Go me.
Breakfast was rice cakes with peanut butter and a banana. My current favorite. I had packed a salad with cheese for my protein and an apple for lunch, but of course there's a story. Arriving for work at noon after my dismissal there was no close parking, I forgot my lunch bag in the car and didn't want to hike out after it. I did have a container of bean soup in the office fridge, and supplemented it with veggies from the potluck to round out my lunch. Dinner was leftover meatloaf, and I think corn and a salad but I'm fuzzy right now and can't really remember. More on that later. I do remember that about 11pm I was 'starving' and had more meatloaf - a definite broken line. I hadn't able to sleep, and I think that I needed the weight of the food to fall asleep. But no flour or sugar.
I didn't even think about the broken line this morning. I got up, made my Bright Line breakfast, packed my Bright Line lunch, and headed off to work knowing exactly what I would be having for dinner when I returned home in the evening. I planned what I would eat, and ate it. No flour, no sugar, no snacking. Back on track without missing a beat.
So about not remembering dinner clearly; I was really tired after being distraught most of the day. C is having a really hard time with this treatment phase and we hold him a lot. Cuddle him a lot. Try to distract him. We know he isn't feeling well, and it wears on all of us. I remember us sitting on my bed playing Legos - he loves the small pieces, a whole bag of miscellaneous parts left over from his sister- and I remember sitting together watching paw patrol. But I don't remember eating dinner. I know I must have, but the details are beyond me at the moment.
This makes me think about an old trick, or tool if you will, that I have used before. If I couldn't remember exactly everything I had eaten during the day, it meant I ate too much. I realize now that I wasn't snacking then, it was too hard to remember and I didn't want to have to log my food. While snacking on the weekends has always been a given, I rarely would snack at work. It's only been this last year that the team has all been snacking. Partly stress, partly group mentality. I snapped at them today, explaining about our 15 minutes of will power and how everytime I see the box of donuts I have to decide not to eat one and to PLEASE PUT THEM AWAY. Sigh.
Tonight I am tired. And a little disappointed that I am not feeling more energetic yet. On a happier note, I fit into last year's winter pants this morning. It was too cold to put on the Capris I've been wearing since Spring (California girl) so I pulled out some leggings from last year and they fit. Several other pairs also fit, and it felt good. I know that XXL isn't a great size, but it's better by far than a triple X!!
Baby steps. Go me.
Monday, October 28, 2019
Salt
Somewhere in the Bright Line Eating materials, Susan mentioned that not eating processed foods we would be able use salt since we would be getting so much less sodium. I heard, 'okay to use salt' when what I should have heard was 'eventually I may be able to use salt again.' I realized at lunch today that I was adding salt to my soup, and that I had added salt to my dinner the night before, and come to think of it had been adding salt to my food daily. This is not good. I am still taking blood pressure meds, I'm still a good 80 #'s or so overweight. It's amazing how the brain can filter out pertinent facts. And I didn't really need the salt, my soups were nicely seasoned. But generally speaking I crave salt more than sugar, chips over cookies when you get right down to it. So note to self; knock it off!
Breakfast this morning was lovely; wild brown rice cakes with peanut butter and a banana. Lunch was the last container of lentil soup that I meant to have last week but ended up skipping lunch that day (by accident) and wanted to use it up before it went bad. And a green salad with a sliced brussels sprout, green onions and cucumber. The dressing was a yogurt cilantro, yum. Dinner was sketchy. I had to stop at the store to pick up ingredients for tomorrow's pot luck at work (green chili rice) and was of course starving by the time I headed home on the freeway. With the groceries on the seat next to me, including a bag of shredded jack cheese for the rice casserole, I justified eating cheese as my dinner protein, intending to eat dinner the minute I stepped through the door at home. But C attached himself to me as he sometimes does as soon as I get home, and the next hour I spent with him. By the time he was ready to let me go I wasn't really hungry. The kids had picked up posole (hominy soup) as part of their dinner and I had a small bowl because it was ready and easy and warm. And I was tired. I also ate the small bowl of persimmon that R had cut up for C; he seemed to like it and ate a few cubes, but then set it aside. So dinner was protein, fruit, and grain. Plus whatever veggies were in the broth of the soup I guess. No sugar, no flour; focus on the positive.
So why am I struggling to stick to the plan? It's not that I don't think I'm worth the effort. Maybe years of playing the 'I don't care' card just to get through each day has become a habit, or a fall back response, when I am tired.
I am too hungry driving home, so maybe I need to push breakfast out to 9, so that lunch isn't until 1pm. That should help, I'll try that tomorrow. EXCEPT that I just remembered that I have Jury Duty tomorrow. That's what this note should have been about, how brilliantly I was going to handle that challenge.
I guess I had better go figure that out or tomorrow's post will just be pathetic.
Breakfast this morning was lovely; wild brown rice cakes with peanut butter and a banana. Lunch was the last container of lentil soup that I meant to have last week but ended up skipping lunch that day (by accident) and wanted to use it up before it went bad. And a green salad with a sliced brussels sprout, green onions and cucumber. The dressing was a yogurt cilantro, yum. Dinner was sketchy. I had to stop at the store to pick up ingredients for tomorrow's pot luck at work (green chili rice) and was of course starving by the time I headed home on the freeway. With the groceries on the seat next to me, including a bag of shredded jack cheese for the rice casserole, I justified eating cheese as my dinner protein, intending to eat dinner the minute I stepped through the door at home. But C attached himself to me as he sometimes does as soon as I get home, and the next hour I spent with him. By the time he was ready to let me go I wasn't really hungry. The kids had picked up posole (hominy soup) as part of their dinner and I had a small bowl because it was ready and easy and warm. And I was tired. I also ate the small bowl of persimmon that R had cut up for C; he seemed to like it and ate a few cubes, but then set it aside. So dinner was protein, fruit, and grain. Plus whatever veggies were in the broth of the soup I guess. No sugar, no flour; focus on the positive.
So why am I struggling to stick to the plan? It's not that I don't think I'm worth the effort. Maybe years of playing the 'I don't care' card just to get through each day has become a habit, or a fall back response, when I am tired.
I am too hungry driving home, so maybe I need to push breakfast out to 9, so that lunch isn't until 1pm. That should help, I'll try that tomorrow. EXCEPT that I just remembered that I have Jury Duty tomorrow. That's what this note should have been about, how brilliantly I was going to handle that challenge.
I guess I had better go figure that out or tomorrow's post will just be pathetic.
Sunday, October 27, 2019
Bright Lines: week 3 in review
Down another 1.2 pounds. Given the week I had I'll take it. Short on raw veggies, heavy on fatty proteins, and I still lost weight; heck yea I'll take it! I may not feel very proud of this week, but I am elated that I was able to respect my bright lines against sugar and flour despite the emotions and pain and frustrations. All triggers for me to eat. But to be honest everything is a trigger, or at least that has been my belief. What if all along it wasn't me, but my addiction, that was responding? That is my hope and has been since first listening to Bright Line Eating. That I am not a manic depressive, that I am not just weak willed, and that there is more to me than my obsession with food. Addiction would explain it all. And I begin to wonder who I am without it.
Finding out will be a journey, I am sure. And after three weeks I can already see that this is not nearly as restrictive as it first seemed. Just yesterday I was hunting through the pantry for C's paw patrol mac n cheese we had picked up to try (don't, I wouldn't even classify it as food) when I came across a bag of barley and the side had a recipe for pudding. Barley pudding! Who knew. And I expect that more and more discoveries of this type will fill the years. It all feels so possible, and positive, that even sleep deprived after the sleepover I am filled with optimism.
It reminds me of when I began eating for nutrition and ate vegetarian for three years. "What will you eat?" I remember being asked. "Everything else!" was the answer. There are so many choices that don't include sugar and flour, and the triangle of bright lines I have drawn hold sugar, flour, and snacking inside the triangle - everything else is open to exploration.
Back later to review the day, I just needed to get that out.
It turned out to be a quiet day; I lounged and did Sudoku and watched Star Trek. I made it to the grocery store and made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas for dinner. Because of the nature of the meal I weighed everything. Oh, and an apple, which I didn't weigh. The meatloaf was full of onions and spinach, with rolled oats and eggs to bind and a no sugar added ketchup on the top. I'll weigh out a couple of portions for left overs later in the week of the meatloaf and add it to better veggies and a salad for dinners.
Lunch was bean soup and corn on the cob, and breakfast was hash browns, sausage and papaya. I was a little tired and grumpy after a sleep broken night. I really don't know how my daughter is functioning on a daily basis, she's woken up so many times in any given night by C.
I'm prepping grains tonight - the kitchen was too hectic to cook this morning - and I am planning on better choices more often this coming week. I'll hit Sprouts tomorrow at lunch to stock up on salad fixings and fruit at work. On Friday a couple of team-mates at work ended up taking home some Bright Line Eating ideas, and I am hoping to see less snacks at work. That would be nice.
I think I ended up grumpy this afternoon because of how sore I am, mostly hips and legs, and every time I accomplished something I just wanted to go lay down and rest afterwards. And I did. I think because I am doing this 'healthy' thing to make things better that they should be better like magic now. That whole human instant gratification thing I guess. It will have to be enough to know I am on the right track, and will feel the difference soon. Six pounds in three weeks may not seem like a lot to some, but to me it's amazing. I can't wait to see how next week goes and I am anxious to start feeling stronger. To have more energy. To be more active.
It will happen.
Finding out will be a journey, I am sure. And after three weeks I can already see that this is not nearly as restrictive as it first seemed. Just yesterday I was hunting through the pantry for C's paw patrol mac n cheese we had picked up to try (don't, I wouldn't even classify it as food) when I came across a bag of barley and the side had a recipe for pudding. Barley pudding! Who knew. And I expect that more and more discoveries of this type will fill the years. It all feels so possible, and positive, that even sleep deprived after the sleepover I am filled with optimism.
It reminds me of when I began eating for nutrition and ate vegetarian for three years. "What will you eat?" I remember being asked. "Everything else!" was the answer. There are so many choices that don't include sugar and flour, and the triangle of bright lines I have drawn hold sugar, flour, and snacking inside the triangle - everything else is open to exploration.
Back later to review the day, I just needed to get that out.
It turned out to be a quiet day; I lounged and did Sudoku and watched Star Trek. I made it to the grocery store and made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas for dinner. Because of the nature of the meal I weighed everything. Oh, and an apple, which I didn't weigh. The meatloaf was full of onions and spinach, with rolled oats and eggs to bind and a no sugar added ketchup on the top. I'll weigh out a couple of portions for left overs later in the week of the meatloaf and add it to better veggies and a salad for dinners.
Lunch was bean soup and corn on the cob, and breakfast was hash browns, sausage and papaya. I was a little tired and grumpy after a sleep broken night. I really don't know how my daughter is functioning on a daily basis, she's woken up so many times in any given night by C.
I'm prepping grains tonight - the kitchen was too hectic to cook this morning - and I am planning on better choices more often this coming week. I'll hit Sprouts tomorrow at lunch to stock up on salad fixings and fruit at work. On Friday a couple of team-mates at work ended up taking home some Bright Line Eating ideas, and I am hoping to see less snacks at work. That would be nice.
I think I ended up grumpy this afternoon because of how sore I am, mostly hips and legs, and every time I accomplished something I just wanted to go lay down and rest afterwards. And I did. I think because I am doing this 'healthy' thing to make things better that they should be better like magic now. That whole human instant gratification thing I guess. It will have to be enough to know I am on the right track, and will feel the difference soon. Six pounds in three weeks may not seem like a lot to some, but to me it's amazing. I can't wait to see how next week goes and I am anxious to start feeling stronger. To have more energy. To be more active.
It will happen.
Saturday, October 26, 2019
Saturday Ramblings
I find comfort in routine; enjoying my Saturday morning coffee in bed, not feeling the pressure of having to do any specific thing. Leisurely brushing my hair and putting on 'weekend' clothes. Starting my laundry, puttering here, there, and everywhere picking up and putting away the remains of the week. Here is where C was racing his Cat Boy motorcycle, and there are crayons and paper on the dining room table, and the everywhere part would be the shoes. We are all guilty.
Today was a good day. The laundry is done, my errands accomplished, and the house is filled with the laughter and mayhem of three ten year old girls and a very happy two year old. They are doing a test run sleeping out in the tent tonight, making sure it's not going to be too cold for A's 11th birthday in two weeks. How she can possible be that old I don't know.
I took a break and browsed back to November 2008 when she was born. Of course I shouldn't be surprised to see that I was dieting, but at least it was hand in hand with eating for nutrition. And Kaylee was still alive, just a puppy, And it was our 3rd Thanksgiving with out Joey, and all of a sudden the pain is fresh again. But it's okay, I'll feel it move through me and let it dissipate, and focus on the girls running up and down the hall.
Back to today. Breakfast was sausage, tater tots, and papaya. Lunch was bean soup and grapes, and then I was starving. I forgot to make a salad for lunch, there weren't enough calories in the soup, and it was only 3pm. So I decided to make a salad with green onions and avocado. Then dinner wasn't until 7 or so; Tri-Tip, mixed veggies and sauteed mushrooms. Damn, I forgot the fruit again. I didn't have sugar or flour today, but i don't feel like I was being true to Bright Line Eating either.
After forgetting for days I will journal tonight and plan tomorrows food. I swear. Speaking of which, I need to go cook some grains so they are ready for the morning. I do like it when I let them sit overnight in yogurt, but cooked grains are more luscious and I am hoping they will be good with the papaya.
Time for Tea. And making better choices tomorrow.
Today was a good day. The laundry is done, my errands accomplished, and the house is filled with the laughter and mayhem of three ten year old girls and a very happy two year old. They are doing a test run sleeping out in the tent tonight, making sure it's not going to be too cold for A's 11th birthday in two weeks. How she can possible be that old I don't know.
I took a break and browsed back to November 2008 when she was born. Of course I shouldn't be surprised to see that I was dieting, but at least it was hand in hand with eating for nutrition. And Kaylee was still alive, just a puppy, And it was our 3rd Thanksgiving with out Joey, and all of a sudden the pain is fresh again. But it's okay, I'll feel it move through me and let it dissipate, and focus on the girls running up and down the hall.
Back to today. Breakfast was sausage, tater tots, and papaya. Lunch was bean soup and grapes, and then I was starving. I forgot to make a salad for lunch, there weren't enough calories in the soup, and it was only 3pm. So I decided to make a salad with green onions and avocado. Then dinner wasn't until 7 or so; Tri-Tip, mixed veggies and sauteed mushrooms. Damn, I forgot the fruit again. I didn't have sugar or flour today, but i don't feel like I was being true to Bright Line Eating either.
After forgetting for days I will journal tonight and plan tomorrows food. I swear. Speaking of which, I need to go cook some grains so they are ready for the morning. I do like it when I let them sit overnight in yogurt, but cooked grains are more luscious and I am hoping they will be good with the papaya.
Time for Tea. And making better choices tomorrow.
Friday, October 25, 2019
Bending a Bright Line
A meal is a meal, right? Whether it takes three hours sitting outside under a grape arbor, laughing with friends and enjoying six courses, or if it takes ten minutes sitting alone. So what are the boundaries?
I couldn't get on the freeway this morning to go to work. I just couldn't. The right lane to the freeway was backed up to the light and the left lane leading to McDonalds was free and clear. It was a cold morning for a change, and a 2nd cup of coffee was calling and calling. It all happened in a just the smallest of moments, making the decision to go straight and indulge in a 2nd cup of decaf. Hadn't I been good for almost three weeks?
That is the kind of chatter that has been missing, and I'm not sure what happened this morning. Events conspired, and I fell. So what happened next? I enjoyed every sip of my coffee on the way to work, just a half hour this morning, and once there settled my things and started to work. I didn't even think about breakfast until 11, and that is where the trouble started. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat lunch until at least 3, which would make dinner 7. That all seemed fine, but at 3 I didn't feel like eating. In fact I didn't feel like eating until 4:45 when I was at Sprouts picking up a few things for the weekend. And all of a sudden I was starving. Of course I was. I took a breath, assessed the situation, and grabbed a bag of zero sugar beef jerky. It was a small bag, 4oz, a perfect serving of protein, but it wasn't a meal. And I ate it in the car driving home. So was it a snack or a partial late lunch?
And that wasn't the bad part. No longer starving, I made the bean soup I had planned; the instant pot is my best friend these days. I chopped veggies, dumped them in the pot with diced tomatoes and fresh chopped spinach, added a four pack of sausages I had cut in half so the flavour would permeate the soup along with a half bag of Red Mill 15 bean soup and covered it all up with a box of chicken stock and half a box of veggie stock. Bay leaves, Mrs. Dash's onion blend and table blend, and fresh ground pepper were the last to join the party. Everything would be ready in about an hour; 35 minutes on high and a slow release for another half hour. Here it comes. I had a bowl of potatoe chips. The part of me that can rationalize anything, and I mean anything, says this was the starch to go along with the jerky for dinner. But they were over an hour apart, and no matter how hard one part of my brain says a potatoe is a potatoe, the smart part knows better. It was a snack plain and simple.
So I wasn't hungry when the soup was ready, and didn't get hungry until, well, right now. It's 11pm and I'm never up this late. Thank you 2nd cup of decaf! The soup is all nicely packed away into servings in the fridge, and my stomach is grumbling. In my heart I don't think I've cheated today so much as strayed off the path a bit. I'm calling it bending my bright line against snacking. I know eating meals is important enough that Susan knew it deserved to have a bright line in the first place, but in my addled addicted brain it's the sugar and flour that are the important players. And I didn't mess around with those lines; they are intact. As is my motivation, and I have no intention of eating anything until breakfast.
I'm so glad it's Friday. I'm still waiting for the dentist to call, but I'm guessing my next appt. won't be until Monday and I have the weekend to get back to three squares and salads. This past week has been light on raw veggies, and I don't feel like I'm doing as well without them. But I'm in this for the long haul I keep reminding myself, and there will be plenty of salads in my future.
Time to go plan tomorrow's food, write it down, and commit to it.
I couldn't get on the freeway this morning to go to work. I just couldn't. The right lane to the freeway was backed up to the light and the left lane leading to McDonalds was free and clear. It was a cold morning for a change, and a 2nd cup of coffee was calling and calling. It all happened in a just the smallest of moments, making the decision to go straight and indulge in a 2nd cup of decaf. Hadn't I been good for almost three weeks?
That is the kind of chatter that has been missing, and I'm not sure what happened this morning. Events conspired, and I fell. So what happened next? I enjoyed every sip of my coffee on the way to work, just a half hour this morning, and once there settled my things and started to work. I didn't even think about breakfast until 11, and that is where the trouble started. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat lunch until at least 3, which would make dinner 7. That all seemed fine, but at 3 I didn't feel like eating. In fact I didn't feel like eating until 4:45 when I was at Sprouts picking up a few things for the weekend. And all of a sudden I was starving. Of course I was. I took a breath, assessed the situation, and grabbed a bag of zero sugar beef jerky. It was a small bag, 4oz, a perfect serving of protein, but it wasn't a meal. And I ate it in the car driving home. So was it a snack or a partial late lunch?
And that wasn't the bad part. No longer starving, I made the bean soup I had planned; the instant pot is my best friend these days. I chopped veggies, dumped them in the pot with diced tomatoes and fresh chopped spinach, added a four pack of sausages I had cut in half so the flavour would permeate the soup along with a half bag of Red Mill 15 bean soup and covered it all up with a box of chicken stock and half a box of veggie stock. Bay leaves, Mrs. Dash's onion blend and table blend, and fresh ground pepper were the last to join the party. Everything would be ready in about an hour; 35 minutes on high and a slow release for another half hour. Here it comes. I had a bowl of potatoe chips. The part of me that can rationalize anything, and I mean anything, says this was the starch to go along with the jerky for dinner. But they were over an hour apart, and no matter how hard one part of my brain says a potatoe is a potatoe, the smart part knows better. It was a snack plain and simple.
So I wasn't hungry when the soup was ready, and didn't get hungry until, well, right now. It's 11pm and I'm never up this late. Thank you 2nd cup of decaf! The soup is all nicely packed away into servings in the fridge, and my stomach is grumbling. In my heart I don't think I've cheated today so much as strayed off the path a bit. I'm calling it bending my bright line against snacking. I know eating meals is important enough that Susan knew it deserved to have a bright line in the first place, but in my addled addicted brain it's the sugar and flour that are the important players. And I didn't mess around with those lines; they are intact. As is my motivation, and I have no intention of eating anything until breakfast.
I'm so glad it's Friday. I'm still waiting for the dentist to call, but I'm guessing my next appt. won't be until Monday and I have the weekend to get back to three squares and salads. This past week has been light on raw veggies, and I don't feel like I'm doing as well without them. But I'm in this for the long haul I keep reminding myself, and there will be plenty of salads in my future.
Time to go plan tomorrow's food, write it down, and commit to it.
Thursday, October 24, 2019
Quality Conrol
I was checking emails at lunch today, attempting to clear out my personal email, and discovered that since taking the initial Bright Line Eating susceptibility test I've been getting regular emails from Susan. Lots of nice little reminders about why I am doing this, why I am banishing sugar, flour and snacking from my life. And one of the messages was about a two minute trick to losing weight. It was about deciding the night before what the food for the next day was to be, and committing to it.
I suddenly realized that during this last bought of dental unrest I had forgotten about my journal. About how important it is to plan for the next day, and stick to the plan. And I haven't made any gratitude entries either; my poor little beautiful journal has been untouched since ... day 9. Which must have been Monday. It's so easy to let things go, to forget how all the pieces fit together to make a plan that works. In my line of work we have a quality statement that applies here; say what you're going to do, do it, and report on what you did. That is basically what I had been doing. Writing in my paper journal each night what I would eat the next day, then reporting here what I actually ate. I need to get back into the swing of things!
This is why support is so important, so we remember the details, and why I am joining the BLE facebook page. I saw a notice about 'Cooking with the Thompsons' - Susan's family - and I thought it would be fun to take a peak.
Today for breakfast I had my prepared cooked grains, heated up with blueberries and topped with Greek yogurt. Such a big delicious meal. Lunch was left over lentil soup; I'm not suppose to chew on my temporary filling so skipped my salad for the 2nd day in a row. Dinner was breakfast! I cooked my second pack of pre-chopped country potatoes and had sausages for my protein. Veggies? 6 oz of asparagus tips all chewed on the right side of my mouth. And a banana. lol, at least there was no sugar or flour! I need to have my bridge done so I can eat salads again.
I'm feeling much better now that my tooth infection is quickly receding. Funny how the face can affect your mood so drastically; whether it's a bad tooth, a cold sore, the proverbial pimple on the nose - it's all just devastating. I wonder why.
Time to call it a day. Hope yours was a good one.
I suddenly realized that during this last bought of dental unrest I had forgotten about my journal. About how important it is to plan for the next day, and stick to the plan. And I haven't made any gratitude entries either; my poor little beautiful journal has been untouched since ... day 9. Which must have been Monday. It's so easy to let things go, to forget how all the pieces fit together to make a plan that works. In my line of work we have a quality statement that applies here; say what you're going to do, do it, and report on what you did. That is basically what I had been doing. Writing in my paper journal each night what I would eat the next day, then reporting here what I actually ate. I need to get back into the swing of things!
This is why support is so important, so we remember the details, and why I am joining the BLE facebook page. I saw a notice about 'Cooking with the Thompsons' - Susan's family - and I thought it would be fun to take a peak.
Today for breakfast I had my prepared cooked grains, heated up with blueberries and topped with Greek yogurt. Such a big delicious meal. Lunch was left over lentil soup; I'm not suppose to chew on my temporary filling so skipped my salad for the 2nd day in a row. Dinner was breakfast! I cooked my second pack of pre-chopped country potatoes and had sausages for my protein. Veggies? 6 oz of asparagus tips all chewed on the right side of my mouth. And a banana. lol, at least there was no sugar or flour! I need to have my bridge done so I can eat salads again.
I'm feeling much better now that my tooth infection is quickly receding. Funny how the face can affect your mood so drastically; whether it's a bad tooth, a cold sore, the proverbial pimple on the nose - it's all just devastating. I wonder why.
Time to call it a day. Hope yours was a good one.
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
Hamburger Soup
This morning was rough, but the root canal is done. I wasn't feeling stellar this afternoon, but made soup anyway. When the kids were little my husband would make hamburger soup; it seemed strange to me at the time, but it was inexpensive and I didn't have to cook - a win, win. Plus everyone loved it.
I didn't have the stamina to cook frozen hamburger at teh stove, so I threw it in the instant pot with a cup of chicken stock for 15 minutes. While it defrosted I sauteed onions and chopped up carrots and onions. Trader Joe's 21 seasonings, some Mrs. Dash table blend, and a couple of bay leaves also made it in with the onions. Once they were softened I add tomatoe paste, dried parsley, a little garlic powder and stirred it all together until blended and put the heat on low.
I did a quick release on the instant pot once the timer went off, used the new fancy plastic tool to break up the hamburger, then added the onion blend and fresh veggies, plus a bag of cubed zucchini from the fridge and a large can of crushed tomatoes, and set the instant pot for 18 minutes. I wish I hadn't forgotten the baby spinach but oh well. I started noodles on the stove so the family could add them to their soup, and when R arrived home she took over. She reduced the timer by 5 minutes, scooped out a big bowl for me, then added the noodles in.
Why am I writing all that down? Because it was fairly easy, and very delicious, and I want to remember how I made it. It needed just a touch of salt at the end, and I ate the whole big bowl set aside for me. My body was screaming for the veggies and now I am comfortably full and ready to relax for the evening. Oh, and even C ate some soup! So satisfying to have made something he would eat.
So satisfying to feel helpful.
I didn't have the stamina to cook frozen hamburger at teh stove, so I threw it in the instant pot with a cup of chicken stock for 15 minutes. While it defrosted I sauteed onions and chopped up carrots and onions. Trader Joe's 21 seasonings, some Mrs. Dash table blend, and a couple of bay leaves also made it in with the onions. Once they were softened I add tomatoe paste, dried parsley, a little garlic powder and stirred it all together until blended and put the heat on low.
I did a quick release on the instant pot once the timer went off, used the new fancy plastic tool to break up the hamburger, then added the onion blend and fresh veggies, plus a bag of cubed zucchini from the fridge and a large can of crushed tomatoes, and set the instant pot for 18 minutes. I wish I hadn't forgotten the baby spinach but oh well. I started noodles on the stove so the family could add them to their soup, and when R arrived home she took over. She reduced the timer by 5 minutes, scooped out a big bowl for me, then added the noodles in.
Why am I writing all that down? Because it was fairly easy, and very delicious, and I want to remember how I made it. It needed just a touch of salt at the end, and I ate the whole big bowl set aside for me. My body was screaming for the veggies and now I am comfortably full and ready to relax for the evening. Oh, and even C ate some soup! So satisfying to have made something he would eat.
So satisfying to feel helpful.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
Holiday Food
And so it begins, with Halloween cookies in the kitchen at work. l was envious of the girls eating them, but I kept my head down and concentrated on work. I chewed gum on the way home and made dinner immediately upon arriving; a green salad and left over ribs. Looking around my own kitchen there was an open bag of Cheetos, chocolate chip cookies, the can of cashews, potatoe chips...and Halloween candy.
But C had chemo today and the kids have been trying to get him to eat - the efforts apparent. Sometimes there are bowls everywhere with rejected offerings from the day. His blood was low when they tested at hospital so he is scheduled to go back for a transfusion. Trying to get him to eat has not been very successful this evening; at one point he was watching Paw Patrol on my bed (laptop) while I watched Star Trek (tv) and the plate of food left next to him was tantalizing to me but not to him - waffles with syrup, sausage, and apples.
But back to Holiday Food. I am already thinking about pumpkin custard sweetened with dates, and wondering if I will have a piece of pie at Thanksgiving. At this point I think it depends on how yummy the custard is. And today I had the brilliant thought of using my cooked grains to make a bread pudding with raisins. As sometimes happens it would appear that my sweet tooth is peaking around. I feel safe for now, the memory of how disappointing the small Halloween candies were last year - literally tasting like plastic to me they are so processed.
I think I will be fine until Thanksgiving. And even then it can be more about the mashed potatoes and gravy thickened with something other than flour, juicy turkey and buttery green beans than it is about the dressing, rolls and pies. There are lots of ways to splurge while not breaking any of my Bright Lines.
Now Christmas. And chocolate. And cookies. That may be another story. But I am hoping I will have lost enough pounds by then for incentive to stay true. If I even lose a few more pounds in October, and ten in November, and another 8 or so in December - why that will be 26 lbs! Certainly that is plenty of food for thought! But I think it is possible by keeping sugar, flour and snacking corralled inside my beautiful bright lines.
Luckily New Years is about potatoe chips and onion dip, oh, and I forgot, fried prawns. Hmmm, I'll have to think about that one.
In any case, despite the day's temptations I am not daunted by the looming Holidays. After all, it's not really about the food then, is it? Despite my obsessing.
But C had chemo today and the kids have been trying to get him to eat - the efforts apparent. Sometimes there are bowls everywhere with rejected offerings from the day. His blood was low when they tested at hospital so he is scheduled to go back for a transfusion. Trying to get him to eat has not been very successful this evening; at one point he was watching Paw Patrol on my bed (laptop) while I watched Star Trek (tv) and the plate of food left next to him was tantalizing to me but not to him - waffles with syrup, sausage, and apples.
But back to Holiday Food. I am already thinking about pumpkin custard sweetened with dates, and wondering if I will have a piece of pie at Thanksgiving. At this point I think it depends on how yummy the custard is. And today I had the brilliant thought of using my cooked grains to make a bread pudding with raisins. As sometimes happens it would appear that my sweet tooth is peaking around. I feel safe for now, the memory of how disappointing the small Halloween candies were last year - literally tasting like plastic to me they are so processed.
I think I will be fine until Thanksgiving. And even then it can be more about the mashed potatoes and gravy thickened with something other than flour, juicy turkey and buttery green beans than it is about the dressing, rolls and pies. There are lots of ways to splurge while not breaking any of my Bright Lines.
Now Christmas. And chocolate. And cookies. That may be another story. But I am hoping I will have lost enough pounds by then for incentive to stay true. If I even lose a few more pounds in October, and ten in November, and another 8 or so in December - why that will be 26 lbs! Certainly that is plenty of food for thought! But I think it is possible by keeping sugar, flour and snacking corralled inside my beautiful bright lines.
Luckily New Years is about potatoe chips and onion dip, oh, and I forgot, fried prawns. Hmmm, I'll have to think about that one.
In any case, despite the day's temptations I am not daunted by the looming Holidays. After all, it's not really about the food then, is it? Despite my obsessing.
Monday, October 21, 2019
Food food food
Finally back to work after hearing from the endodontist's office that I have an appt. on Wednesday. I had one last container to use up from my tomatoe rice dish for lunch, and potatoes, egg and grapes for lunch so it was easy to pack my food for the day and head out.
Dinner was a large green salad with yogurt blue cheese dressing, celery, carrots, a couple of sliced brussels sprouts, and a mix of pecans and Vermont white cheddar for the protein. It was a nice surprise that the yogurt dressings are either low or without sugar.
I never made bean soup on Sunday as intended, I'm thinking I'll do that Weds. while recovering from the root canal. I have garbonzo bean salad ready for lunch tomorrow, tons of celery and onion in that, and lentil soup for dinner. Oh, and breakfast will be leftover wild grains heated up with blueberries and smoothed out with greek yogurt.
It seems like I eat a lot of food, which satisfies the beast in me, and I think I am enjoying not being bothered about snacks. Speaking of which, I forgot to mention I broke a bright line yesterday. Totally unconsciously; the little container of cashews was sitting on the counter, I opened it and popped a few into my mouth, and was all the way (three steps) to the stove before I realized what I had done. I am not a fanatic - I didn't spit them out - and so I chewed them up enjoying every luscious moment of indulgence.
Dinner last night was instant pot ribs, broccolini, and Irish Pub nachos. Google that last if you've never heard of them. I'm pretty sure I didn't go over the 4oz of protein, but I am certain I ate too many potatoes. They were so delicious, and thinking back I was tired and emotionally drained after a rough patch. But I didn't dwell on it. I got up this morning and right back on track.
What I am doing is so important, and I have every intention of succeeding.
Dinner was a large green salad with yogurt blue cheese dressing, celery, carrots, a couple of sliced brussels sprouts, and a mix of pecans and Vermont white cheddar for the protein. It was a nice surprise that the yogurt dressings are either low or without sugar.
I never made bean soup on Sunday as intended, I'm thinking I'll do that Weds. while recovering from the root canal. I have garbonzo bean salad ready for lunch tomorrow, tons of celery and onion in that, and lentil soup for dinner. Oh, and breakfast will be leftover wild grains heated up with blueberries and smoothed out with greek yogurt.
It seems like I eat a lot of food, which satisfies the beast in me, and I think I am enjoying not being bothered about snacks. Speaking of which, I forgot to mention I broke a bright line yesterday. Totally unconsciously; the little container of cashews was sitting on the counter, I opened it and popped a few into my mouth, and was all the way (three steps) to the stove before I realized what I had done. I am not a fanatic - I didn't spit them out - and so I chewed them up enjoying every luscious moment of indulgence.
Dinner last night was instant pot ribs, broccolini, and Irish Pub nachos. Google that last if you've never heard of them. I'm pretty sure I didn't go over the 4oz of protein, but I am certain I ate too many potatoes. They were so delicious, and thinking back I was tired and emotionally drained after a rough patch. But I didn't dwell on it. I got up this morning and right back on track.
What I am doing is so important, and I have every intention of succeeding.
Sunday, October 20, 2019
Bright Lines: week 2 in review
Two more pounds down this morning after another week of no flour, no sugar, and no snacking. There were some challenges this week, but I feel I met them fairly well. I have watched enough vlogs and videos of others doing BLE to know I'm pretty average. There are those who are following the weight loss plan religiously, and those who go off on their own tangent, but I think I fall into the middle group who see hope in the science and are weaning themselves off of bad habits. Like my too often morning sausage and daily morning cup of decaf with cream. And I used tapioca starch to thicken my bean soup - it was in the cupboard and the soup was too thin. From the beginning this was meant to be about the long haul, and not a flash in the pan quick weight loss scheme. So yes, I know I am eating a little too much fat, and sometimes having a starch and a grain in the same day, and not counting the Parmesan cheese I may sprinkle on my salad.
So it's really been about no dramatic changes to my eating, just a fine tuning, and I guess the biggest challenge has been no bread. I've been a bread junkie my whole life, which is why it makes total sense to me that it's an addiction. And one I am willing to do without thank you very much. Especially knowing there are some things I can have, like Ezekiel break and Triscuits. Just enough to satisfy that urge I think when the time comes. Knowing there is a turkey sandwich in my future also makes a big difference, because seeing this as long time doable is vital - this can't be a 'diet' or 'weightloss program'. This has to be a way of life, and I'm still in the early stages of seeing if this is real. I hope and pray, and I'm very optimistic that my first impression will hold true.
Despite my good intentions yesterday morning I never did plan dinner for last night. But when R asked what sounded good for dinner all of a sudden I wanted a hamburger patty smothered in sauteed onions and mushrooms. Once we had pulled it all together I changed my mind and opted for a hamburger salad. Crisp Romaine, green onions, pickles, lots of chopped tomatoes and 4oz of a cheese covered patty. A dressing of yellow mustard and mayo completed the salad, and it was delicious. It was the first green salad I'd had in days because of my swollen mouth, and it took a while to slowly chew it all up but worth the effort.
Today got ahead of me a bit. We were out of half n half so I got a decaf americano at Starbucks and sipped away while I did an early grocery run. I don't normally splurge like that, but there you go; events conspire and all that.
So breakfast was much later than usual, almost brunch, and consisted of country potatoes with two eggs over easy and green grapes. There had been fresh prepped veggie packs on sale 3\$10 at the store so I had grabbed two that were diced potatoes, onions & peppers and the 3rd was broccolini. I shared the first batch of potatoes and there are still two 4oz servings left over for two breakfasts next week. I also have two containers of cooked oats ready to go, another 2 breakfasts.
Lunch was bean n bacon soup from the instant pot; two bowls left over for dinners next week. I need to pick up some salad mix for work lunches and do a pan of roasted veggies to have on hand, but that can be done later. Also for later this week I have everything I need for another bean soup, vegetarian this time with lots of tomatoes and mustard greens. I want to use the 15 bean soup mix that's in the cupboard and use Fuhrman's method of throwing in the greens whole on top while the soup is cooking and then pulling them out, blending them up and adding them back into the soup. I'll use the Mushroom Mix for this soup too.
I know I should get up and do something, but I really want my mouth to heal and am using that as an excuse to laze about today.
Besides, I will need my energy later to play legos with C.
So it's really been about no dramatic changes to my eating, just a fine tuning, and I guess the biggest challenge has been no bread. I've been a bread junkie my whole life, which is why it makes total sense to me that it's an addiction. And one I am willing to do without thank you very much. Especially knowing there are some things I can have, like Ezekiel break and Triscuits. Just enough to satisfy that urge I think when the time comes. Knowing there is a turkey sandwich in my future also makes a big difference, because seeing this as long time doable is vital - this can't be a 'diet' or 'weightloss program'. This has to be a way of life, and I'm still in the early stages of seeing if this is real. I hope and pray, and I'm very optimistic that my first impression will hold true.
Despite my good intentions yesterday morning I never did plan dinner for last night. But when R asked what sounded good for dinner all of a sudden I wanted a hamburger patty smothered in sauteed onions and mushrooms. Once we had pulled it all together I changed my mind and opted for a hamburger salad. Crisp Romaine, green onions, pickles, lots of chopped tomatoes and 4oz of a cheese covered patty. A dressing of yellow mustard and mayo completed the salad, and it was delicious. It was the first green salad I'd had in days because of my swollen mouth, and it took a while to slowly chew it all up but worth the effort.
Today got ahead of me a bit. We were out of half n half so I got a decaf americano at Starbucks and sipped away while I did an early grocery run. I don't normally splurge like that, but there you go; events conspire and all that.
So breakfast was much later than usual, almost brunch, and consisted of country potatoes with two eggs over easy and green grapes. There had been fresh prepped veggie packs on sale 3\$10 at the store so I had grabbed two that were diced potatoes, onions & peppers and the 3rd was broccolini. I shared the first batch of potatoes and there are still two 4oz servings left over for two breakfasts next week. I also have two containers of cooked oats ready to go, another 2 breakfasts.
Lunch was bean n bacon soup from the instant pot; two bowls left over for dinners next week. I need to pick up some salad mix for work lunches and do a pan of roasted veggies to have on hand, but that can be done later. Also for later this week I have everything I need for another bean soup, vegetarian this time with lots of tomatoes and mustard greens. I want to use the 15 bean soup mix that's in the cupboard and use Fuhrman's method of throwing in the greens whole on top while the soup is cooking and then pulling them out, blending them up and adding them back into the soup. I'll use the Mushroom Mix for this soup too.
I know I should get up and do something, but I really want my mouth to heal and am using that as an excuse to laze about today.
Besides, I will need my energy later to play legos with C.
Saturday, October 19, 2019
Grains
Grains are one of the food groups that I do weigh and measure. And this morning I cooked up a double batch of the Organic mix that I usually stir in dry to yogurt for a quick easy breakfast to take to work. I followed the directions for 2 servings, and added in 4oz of sliced dates to sweeten the deal. I figured each serving would weigh 6 instead of 4oz and then I would be able to add another 4oz of fresh fruit per serving. I was surprised when the grains (rolled wheat, barley, rye and oats) measured out to 3 servings of 6 oz each. I will still only add 4 oz of fruit; I won't make myself crazy with math. Adding blueberries to my breakfast and 2oz of sausage links it felt like a banquet. And I have two servings in the fridge ready to go for a couple of work week breakfasts.
I am aware that sometime I eat two servings of grain in a single day, making a rice dish for dinner or having leftovers of same for a lunch on the same day I've eaten grains for breakfast. This is one of the ways I will be able to refine my eating plan if I stop losing weight. Another is choosing leaner proteins, and eventually focus on eating for nutrition - which in my humble opinion does not include animal protein. But for now I am still in transition mode, this being the end of my second week of following my abbreviated version of Bright Line Eating.
My mouth is still swollen, and I still dread the root canal that is coming, but it's not worse this morning and my attitude is much improved.
I picked up some Amy's organic tomatoe soup while filling a new prescription yesterday, and after a couple of slurps I couldn't eat it. I knew sugar was maybe the 5th ingredient, but I didn't expect the soup to taste sweet. It was awful! I dumped it out and slowly chewed on an ounce of white Vermont cheddar cheese. I should have cooked up some veg but I was still feeling pretty terrible and just didn't have the gumption. I am still disappointed that organic vegetable soup wasn't a better option than an ounce of animal protein for me, but I'll get over it and make my own tomotoe soup soon.
Time for Saturday chores, including planning groceries for what I will cook on Sunday for the coming week. Maybe bean soup, I have a 15 bean mix in the cupboard I would like to use, and I can make it chock full of tomatoes to get over my recent disappointment.. Nice, a plan!
I am aware that sometime I eat two servings of grain in a single day, making a rice dish for dinner or having leftovers of same for a lunch on the same day I've eaten grains for breakfast. This is one of the ways I will be able to refine my eating plan if I stop losing weight. Another is choosing leaner proteins, and eventually focus on eating for nutrition - which in my humble opinion does not include animal protein. But for now I am still in transition mode, this being the end of my second week of following my abbreviated version of Bright Line Eating.
My mouth is still swollen, and I still dread the root canal that is coming, but it's not worse this morning and my attitude is much improved.
I picked up some Amy's organic tomatoe soup while filling a new prescription yesterday, and after a couple of slurps I couldn't eat it. I knew sugar was maybe the 5th ingredient, but I didn't expect the soup to taste sweet. It was awful! I dumped it out and slowly chewed on an ounce of white Vermont cheddar cheese. I should have cooked up some veg but I was still feeling pretty terrible and just didn't have the gumption. I am still disappointed that organic vegetable soup wasn't a better option than an ounce of animal protein for me, but I'll get over it and make my own tomotoe soup soon.
Time for Saturday chores, including planning groceries for what I will cook on Sunday for the coming week. Maybe bean soup, I have a 15 bean mix in the cupboard I would like to use, and I can make it chock full of tomatoes to get over my recent disappointment.. Nice, a plan!
Friday, October 18, 2019
Hanging in
So frustrating to have this whole tooth thing looming over my day, my decisions, my health - physical and mental! I remind myself that everyone has a story and that on a world wide scale this little problem is nothing. Nothing at all.
Breakfast was a couple of scrambled eggs and 6oz grapes. Lunch was 1oz vermont white cheddar and ambesol for my mouth. Dinner was a pre-made wild rice, sausage and squash Bright Line dinner left over from my cooking last Sunday. Another prescription from the Dr. and I'm hoping the swelling goes down tonight. It's spread to under my chin and this morning was a little scary.
Friday Night! I was just informed we are watching Toy Story and need to run.
Chau!
Breakfast was a couple of scrambled eggs and 6oz grapes. Lunch was 1oz vermont white cheddar and ambesol for my mouth. Dinner was a pre-made wild rice, sausage and squash Bright Line dinner left over from my cooking last Sunday. Another prescription from the Dr. and I'm hoping the swelling goes down tonight. It's spread to under my chin and this morning was a little scary.
Friday Night! I was just informed we are watching Toy Story and need to run.
Chau!
Thursday, October 17, 2019
A bad tooth
Yesterday I was in a lot of pain and a visit to the dentist revealed I need a root canal and a new bridge. I am not happy; my insurance does not cover this and I hate to spend the money as things are tight right now.
But it has to be done. And of course I am not here to talk about pain or money, but about eating. Yesterday threw me a curve in the form of lunch out with my team, but I chose huevos rancheros, no tortilla, with potatoes instead. It was two poached eggs for protein in a rich salsa sauce and fresh avocado. I should have eaten less and that's my bad, but I kept my potatoes to a 4oz serving (I think) and I didn't break any of my personal bright lines. For dinner I had lentil soup and a banana, and breakfast had been sausage, triscuits and grapes. So not a great day for fresh veggies. And because I was in pain and went to bed early I didn't plan food for today - I hope things aren't falling apart already, that it's just me doing the best I can under trying circumstances.
This morning I didn't eat until 10 my mouth was so swollen, but there were softened grains in the fridge and I had a banana which was soft to chew. Lunch will be garbanzo bean boats - tons of celery and onion diced up with chopped garbanzo beans and some mayo tucked into small artisan romaine leaves- and dinner will be more lentil soup. So lunch and dinner are full of veggies and I can feel good about that. I know I can get through this whole dental thing without crossing lines, but I am concerned about portions and fresh veg. Of course there is that saying, "Produce is Produce!" I see more soup in my immediate future.
Time to eat lunch and do some planning for the next few days so I stay on track. I will say that after a week and a half I think I am having less cravings. I'm not prowling the kitchen at night, and have stayed away from the junk to be found there. So far so good. And I need to plan something to take to a Halloween potluck at work. That should be interesting.
But it has to be done. And of course I am not here to talk about pain or money, but about eating. Yesterday threw me a curve in the form of lunch out with my team, but I chose huevos rancheros, no tortilla, with potatoes instead. It was two poached eggs for protein in a rich salsa sauce and fresh avocado. I should have eaten less and that's my bad, but I kept my potatoes to a 4oz serving (I think) and I didn't break any of my personal bright lines. For dinner I had lentil soup and a banana, and breakfast had been sausage, triscuits and grapes. So not a great day for fresh veggies. And because I was in pain and went to bed early I didn't plan food for today - I hope things aren't falling apart already, that it's just me doing the best I can under trying circumstances.
This morning I didn't eat until 10 my mouth was so swollen, but there were softened grains in the fridge and I had a banana which was soft to chew. Lunch will be garbanzo bean boats - tons of celery and onion diced up with chopped garbanzo beans and some mayo tucked into small artisan romaine leaves- and dinner will be more lentil soup. So lunch and dinner are full of veggies and I can feel good about that. I know I can get through this whole dental thing without crossing lines, but I am concerned about portions and fresh veg. Of course there is that saying, "Produce is Produce!" I see more soup in my immediate future.
Time to eat lunch and do some planning for the next few days so I stay on track. I will say that after a week and a half I think I am having less cravings. I'm not prowling the kitchen at night, and have stayed away from the junk to be found there. So far so good. And I need to plan something to take to a Halloween potluck at work. That should be interesting.
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Surviving a perfect storm
Part of C's treatment is having a periodic lumbar puncture; there is a barrier between our circulatory system and spinal fluid, so in addition to his regular treatment, chemo is inserted directly into the spinal canal. We don't outwardly stress about it, we keep positive thoughts, but on days he is in for this treatment I wait to hear that he's okay and that they're on the way home. I look at the clock more frequently, I check my phone, I wait. And the relief that comes when the text finally arrives is so welcome.
Part of C's treatment is that sometimes he has no appetite, or only wants certain foods. There was one week where it felt like all he ate were animal crackers. And the doctor's make no bones about this, he needs to eat, he needs the energy to fight a good fight. So what ever he will eat is the right choice in that moment. Sometimes it's turkey pepperoni, sometime noodles, and of course sometimes pizza. That was last week, and when I was running errands Sunday I picked him up a cheese pizza from a local restaurant because he had finished the last we had at home. And he didn't want it. He is very vocal about his likes and dislikes, sometime gagging at the site or smell of an unwanted snack or meal. Sometimes asking for something and then never taking a bite.
So let's put those two things together; leftover cheese pizza in the fridge and a day riddled with a bit more stress than usual - then I get home tired and hungry. But I stayed true to my bright lines. I heated up a large cup of veggie, lentil soup and ate about half before heading back into the kitchen to nuke some potatoes. I finished my soup while they were cooking (small new potatoes that cook fast) and after they were done I sliced them up and made 'french fries'. But these were organic potatoes, cooked in Avocado oil, and patted dry afterwards to get rid of any excess oil. And I weighed them so that my serving was 4oz. And I used a no sugar added ketchup. And then I chose a banana for my fruit, because I knew that if I didn't load up on starch I would be back in the fridge for a slice of leftover pizza later.
I know I won't be having that slice later. That I am well prepared. And Calvin napping on the couch is a reminder of one of the reasons I want to heal my brain and get strong and healthy - so I can be here for him and the rest of the family for years to come.
Drawing bright lines between myself and the things that will hurt me has become a no-brainer; a very easy thing to say while I am full and sated. I know for sure I will be fighting later this evening when everyone has gone to bed, and I can't sleep, and the pizza is calling me.
Let it call, I won't be answering.
Part of C's treatment is that sometimes he has no appetite, or only wants certain foods. There was one week where it felt like all he ate were animal crackers. And the doctor's make no bones about this, he needs to eat, he needs the energy to fight a good fight. So what ever he will eat is the right choice in that moment. Sometimes it's turkey pepperoni, sometime noodles, and of course sometimes pizza. That was last week, and when I was running errands Sunday I picked him up a cheese pizza from a local restaurant because he had finished the last we had at home. And he didn't want it. He is very vocal about his likes and dislikes, sometime gagging at the site or smell of an unwanted snack or meal. Sometimes asking for something and then never taking a bite.
So let's put those two things together; leftover cheese pizza in the fridge and a day riddled with a bit more stress than usual - then I get home tired and hungry. But I stayed true to my bright lines. I heated up a large cup of veggie, lentil soup and ate about half before heading back into the kitchen to nuke some potatoes. I finished my soup while they were cooking (small new potatoes that cook fast) and after they were done I sliced them up and made 'french fries'. But these were organic potatoes, cooked in Avocado oil, and patted dry afterwards to get rid of any excess oil. And I weighed them so that my serving was 4oz. And I used a no sugar added ketchup. And then I chose a banana for my fruit, because I knew that if I didn't load up on starch I would be back in the fridge for a slice of leftover pizza later.
I know I won't be having that slice later. That I am well prepared. And Calvin napping on the couch is a reminder of one of the reasons I want to heal my brain and get strong and healthy - so I can be here for him and the rest of the family for years to come.
Drawing bright lines between myself and the things that will hurt me has become a no-brainer; a very easy thing to say while I am full and sated. I know for sure I will be fighting later this evening when everyone has gone to bed, and I can't sleep, and the pizza is calling me.
Let it call, I won't be answering.
Sunday, October 13, 2019
Bright Lines; week 1 in review
This morning was the first time waking up this Autumn, cozy in the warmth of flannel sheets, that I wanted to indulge in the the luxurious feeling of snuggling back into a warm nest instead of rising. The sheer joy of the moment.almost prevailed. Instead my brain gradually began obsessing over the scale and what I would see after my week of bright lines. Of course the siren's call of the scale won.
A bit about scales. I don't like them. I stopped weighing myself about three years ago - the same time I stopped dieting. I was done. Yet somehow the scale has been sitting like an artifact in a museum, taking up real estate in my bathroom, never used and always in need of a good dusting.
This morning is was my friend for a change. And I'm down just a tinch over three pounds. I can't remember that ever happening before, I had made the mistake of weighing in yesterday 'just to see' and the chatter it ignited in my brain was unwelcome. Now part of me wants to put it away for a month, and the argument is that this was a fluke and I need to weigh again next Sunday to make sure this is really happening. Then I can put the scale away for a month. But I have a feeling that the obsessive tendencies of my brain will keep me on the scale for a while to come. What a ridiculous thing to keep thinking about; shutting it down NOW.
The week in review. I think I can't call this Bright Line Eating yet. After listening to the book again I realize just how far off center I am from the program. I went into this knowing I was shooting for maintenance, that I knew myself well enough to avoid the heartache of jumping in full throttle just to be disappointed and end up a depressed blob at the bottom of a pity pool. And I had so much experience on eating for nutrition, that this past week was really just about the bright lines I drew between myself, flour, sugar, and snacking. There is so much more to her plan that I am not doing.
That being said, what I did worked, and I will keep on this path as long as it keeps working. If I get to a point where I'm no longer losing, then I will look more seriously at the details. The one bright line I did not draw was for weighing and measuring. While I am weighing grains, starches, and protein to make sure I am getting enough and not too much, I am counting on my experience for the veggies. I know what a salad should look like and have been making them in the same wooden bowls for years. Lord knows I've weighed enough salads in them. And I'm not measuring my salad dressing, or the oil I use to cook; these are things I can do later if needed or desired. I'm also not sitting at the table to eat, unwilling to give up my dinner date with Star Trek most evenings.
I wasn't interested in being told what to eat, I was interested in healing my brain. I'm invested in getting rid of this addiction and alleviating my depression. And yes, I want my inner athlete back. I want the whole kit and caboodle of Happy, This and Free. So at some point I may be interested in being told what to eat, but for now I will continue what worked last week. Eat for nutrition, bright lines against flour, sugar and snacking, and using my journal for food planning and gratitude.
Go Me..
A bit about scales. I don't like them. I stopped weighing myself about three years ago - the same time I stopped dieting. I was done. Yet somehow the scale has been sitting like an artifact in a museum, taking up real estate in my bathroom, never used and always in need of a good dusting.
This morning is was my friend for a change. And I'm down just a tinch over three pounds. I can't remember that ever happening before, I had made the mistake of weighing in yesterday 'just to see' and the chatter it ignited in my brain was unwelcome. Now part of me wants to put it away for a month, and the argument is that this was a fluke and I need to weigh again next Sunday to make sure this is really happening. Then I can put the scale away for a month. But I have a feeling that the obsessive tendencies of my brain will keep me on the scale for a while to come. What a ridiculous thing to keep thinking about; shutting it down NOW.
The week in review. I think I can't call this Bright Line Eating yet. After listening to the book again I realize just how far off center I am from the program. I went into this knowing I was shooting for maintenance, that I knew myself well enough to avoid the heartache of jumping in full throttle just to be disappointed and end up a depressed blob at the bottom of a pity pool. And I had so much experience on eating for nutrition, that this past week was really just about the bright lines I drew between myself, flour, sugar, and snacking. There is so much more to her plan that I am not doing.
That being said, what I did worked, and I will keep on this path as long as it keeps working. If I get to a point where I'm no longer losing, then I will look more seriously at the details. The one bright line I did not draw was for weighing and measuring. While I am weighing grains, starches, and protein to make sure I am getting enough and not too much, I am counting on my experience for the veggies. I know what a salad should look like and have been making them in the same wooden bowls for years. Lord knows I've weighed enough salads in them. And I'm not measuring my salad dressing, or the oil I use to cook; these are things I can do later if needed or desired. I'm also not sitting at the table to eat, unwilling to give up my dinner date with Star Trek most evenings.
I wasn't interested in being told what to eat, I was interested in healing my brain. I'm invested in getting rid of this addiction and alleviating my depression. And yes, I want my inner athlete back. I want the whole kit and caboodle of Happy, This and Free. So at some point I may be interested in being told what to eat, but for now I will continue what worked last week. Eat for nutrition, bright lines against flour, sugar and snacking, and using my journal for food planning and gratitude.
Go Me..
Friday, October 11, 2019
TGIF
Yesterday I went on about planning ahead and how good it feels to commit and follow through. I then proceeded to lay down for just a moment to watch TV and the next thing I knew I was waking up. So no planning happened, no writing in my journal, and yet I made it through the day. So far. And I say that with all honesty, hoping to get through the evening unscathed. I think because it's Friday. And that's a trigger for me, a much larger one than I realized. The relief of tomorrow being Saturday, the designated dessert night, the family talking about pizza or pancakes for dinner. All just a little overwhelming. Or at least I feel the potential to be overwhelmed, and I'm a little nervous.
I felt so good all week, mostly calm and ready for this change, and able to squeak past a handful of temptations. Tonight I am tired, and not feeling so strong. So on to my day, and thinking about tomorrow, and then an early night.
Daily Food
(b) left over sauteed veggies, hashbrowns, and cheese. Banana
(l) salad with garbanzos. Forgot to eat my apple, it's on my desk.
(d) protein style burger and fries from In-N-Out. Peach
Portions were a bit mixed up, veggies with breakfast made up for those missed at dinner. I ate the burger and fries on the way home; I was so hungry and tired, coupled with the TGIF mentality I made the best decision I could at the time. Once home I chopped up a peach and nuked it for 1.5 minutes - a great dessert.
I want to talk briefly about bright lines, and the ones I have drawn. I haven't joined a boot camp or a 14 day challenge. I haven't see a food plan or done anything but listen to Bright Line Eating and googled online info. There are four lines to draw, and I have drawn three. Flour, Sugar and Snacks. I can envision signing up for a 14 day program, but right now I am focused on the bright lines in front of me that I am determined to keep intact. I haven't committed to eating at the table or weighing and measuring everything. Although I do weigh my proteins, and make veggies the core of my daily food. And I see the value of not eating in the car or in front of the TV. Just not yet. Maybe never. And while those things are on my radar and I'm probably headed that way, I felt the need to explain how I could have eaten dinner in the car, and eaten a meal I didn't plan for and didn't weigh. In-N-Out is about as clean as you can get for fast food; I new there would be no added sugar or flour, and I didn't get ketchup for the fries. No self recriminations, no bad feelings, just the best decision I could make at the moment.
Now I'm focused on getting through the evening without snacking. A bright line I have committed to and refuse to break. I can see it clearly, sparkling bright between me and anything that might tempt me.
To the kitchen for tea, and to plan for tomorrow's food. I will do this. And I'll call my sister - that's a good idea too.
I felt so good all week, mostly calm and ready for this change, and able to squeak past a handful of temptations. Tonight I am tired, and not feeling so strong. So on to my day, and thinking about tomorrow, and then an early night.
Daily Food
(b) left over sauteed veggies, hashbrowns, and cheese. Banana
(l) salad with garbanzos. Forgot to eat my apple, it's on my desk.
(d) protein style burger and fries from In-N-Out. Peach
Portions were a bit mixed up, veggies with breakfast made up for those missed at dinner. I ate the burger and fries on the way home; I was so hungry and tired, coupled with the TGIF mentality I made the best decision I could at the time. Once home I chopped up a peach and nuked it for 1.5 minutes - a great dessert.
I want to talk briefly about bright lines, and the ones I have drawn. I haven't joined a boot camp or a 14 day challenge. I haven't see a food plan or done anything but listen to Bright Line Eating and googled online info. There are four lines to draw, and I have drawn three. Flour, Sugar and Snacks. I can envision signing up for a 14 day program, but right now I am focused on the bright lines in front of me that I am determined to keep intact. I haven't committed to eating at the table or weighing and measuring everything. Although I do weigh my proteins, and make veggies the core of my daily food. And I see the value of not eating in the car or in front of the TV. Just not yet. Maybe never. And while those things are on my radar and I'm probably headed that way, I felt the need to explain how I could have eaten dinner in the car, and eaten a meal I didn't plan for and didn't weigh. In-N-Out is about as clean as you can get for fast food; I new there would be no added sugar or flour, and I didn't get ketchup for the fries. No self recriminations, no bad feelings, just the best decision I could make at the moment.
Now I'm focused on getting through the evening without snacking. A bright line I have committed to and refuse to break. I can see it clearly, sparkling bright between me and anything that might tempt me.
To the kitchen for tea, and to plan for tomorrow's food. I will do this. And I'll call my sister - that's a good idea too.
Thursday, October 10, 2019
Commitment
Dinner was delicious. I know, I skipped the day to get to that, but really, right now is still about the food. And more to the evening's point, committing to the food. Having the flexibility of planning the night before what I will eat the next day, committing to it, and then following through - it's a great sense of accomplishment. I remember feeling trapped before while following a plan because it was all set out for me in advance. And it would never last long. I did well eating a blend of Fuhrman\McDougall - adding starch to Furhman's meals and greens to McDougal's- but once I went back to work full time I didn't have the time? energy? strength? to follow through on the prep. This feels different, maybe because I have the added incentive of leaning into brain health, the motivation of long term healing.
But I do like the idea of following through on something, even if it's just a small daily habit of eating the food I committed to the night before.
So the Day.
Breakfast was too heavy, and by 10:30 I was hungry and tired. I had some lemon herbal tea and water, then took a break and listened to a vlog by Susan. That helped, but I still ate lunch exactly four hours after breakfast. Another large salad with garbanzo beans etc. Which of course left me hungry on the way home from work five hours later. As planned I stopped for supplies on the way home, choosing Italian sausage because there were no frozen meatballs at Sprouts where I stopped, and stocking up on a Marinara sauce that was on sale and was sugar free. Arriving home was nice, with A and C at my car door to greet me; then I hit the door running, chopping onions, squash & peppers and throwing them in the Instapot with the Marinara and sausages. I set the timer long - 35 minutes- because I wanted it cooked down to sauce. So Delicious. And eating at 6. And so easy to weigh out my serving of protein then fill my bowl with what by then was spaghetti soup. I had two servings of veggies instead of a salad. Another nice BLE saying, "Produce is Produce!"
A hectic day at work, and a full tummy, leaves me ready for a nice lay down. But I know I will be up after Star Trek is over (Voyager) and my brain starts working on the menu for tomorrow. And I'll figure it out and write it down in my journal. And commit to it in thought and deed as I pack up and prepare for tomorrow's meals. Because I want this to work, and while it's been challenging at times, it still feels very doable. Very realistic.Very Right.
On to an evening of grandchildren, Captain Janeway, and taking care of myself.
Feeling a little smug.
But I do like the idea of following through on something, even if it's just a small daily habit of eating the food I committed to the night before.
So the Day.
Breakfast was too heavy, and by 10:30 I was hungry and tired. I had some lemon herbal tea and water, then took a break and listened to a vlog by Susan. That helped, but I still ate lunch exactly four hours after breakfast. Another large salad with garbanzo beans etc. Which of course left me hungry on the way home from work five hours later. As planned I stopped for supplies on the way home, choosing Italian sausage because there were no frozen meatballs at Sprouts where I stopped, and stocking up on a Marinara sauce that was on sale and was sugar free. Arriving home was nice, with A and C at my car door to greet me; then I hit the door running, chopping onions, squash & peppers and throwing them in the Instapot with the Marinara and sausages. I set the timer long - 35 minutes- because I wanted it cooked down to sauce. So Delicious. And eating at 6. And so easy to weigh out my serving of protein then fill my bowl with what by then was spaghetti soup. I had two servings of veggies instead of a salad. Another nice BLE saying, "Produce is Produce!"
A hectic day at work, and a full tummy, leaves me ready for a nice lay down. But I know I will be up after Star Trek is over (Voyager) and my brain starts working on the menu for tomorrow. And I'll figure it out and write it down in my journal. And commit to it in thought and deed as I pack up and prepare for tomorrow's meals. Because I want this to work, and while it's been challenging at times, it still feels very doable. Very realistic.Very Right.
On to an evening of grandchildren, Captain Janeway, and taking care of myself.
Feeling a little smug.
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
Brain notes
I had an email from a colleague this morning after a brief phone call, inquiring if anything was wrong. That I sounded tired. I didn't really feel more tired than usual, and let her know everything was fine. I mentioned Bright Line Eating and that I was on day four without flour or sugar. She is a blessing in my life, and didn't pry or judge; she just asked me to let her know how it went.
I dream of a month going by and fitting into my size 18s that are packed away in tubs and boxes; I would love for my follow up with her to be about that. To be about how amazing it feels to see progress. And it feels possible, it feels almost inevitable, and having had that thought I begin to worry that I may be a little delusional. I finished the book and decided to listen to it a 2nd time; to hear again the science and ground my expectations. And it all makes so much sense, the vicious circle of glucose, insulin,and Leptin resistance. We've heard it all before, but I've never heard it explained in a way that involved the brain and outlined how it's all interconnected. And our brains on a sugar high; food addiction as strong as or stronger than cocaine & heroin. No wonder we can't do this, the millions who struggle. Or was it billions.
I will never again shame or blame myself for being weak willed. Instead I believe I am working towards healing my brain and that I am not one bit delusional.
I finished my lentil/turkey soup for dinner this evening as planned, and it's time to browse the kitchen for my Thursday meals. I want to make bean soup this weekend, but for the next two nights I think maybe something to use up the green and yellow squash, onions & corn, peppers. I know, spaghetti squash soup. I have a bottle of sugar free marinara in the garage, and I can pick up some clean frozen meatballs at lunch tomorrow. I'll throw it all in the Instapot after work and be eating by 6pm. Lunch will be salad again, but blue cheese instead of cilantro dressing, and for breakfast...hmmm....I think I'll make some potatoes O'Brian tonight and have them with sausage. Yes, that sounds delicious. And there are still grapes, peaches, oranges and apples to choose from for each meal.
It's so easy to get busy at work and forget to drink enough water; we often remind each other in the office but today zoomed by so quickly. So I'm off to make herbal tea and cook potatoes; I'll go ahead and prepackage a few breakfasts when I'm done.
It does feel good to know I will start out tomorrow prepared.
I dream of a month going by and fitting into my size 18s that are packed away in tubs and boxes; I would love for my follow up with her to be about that. To be about how amazing it feels to see progress. And it feels possible, it feels almost inevitable, and having had that thought I begin to worry that I may be a little delusional. I finished the book and decided to listen to it a 2nd time; to hear again the science and ground my expectations. And it all makes so much sense, the vicious circle of glucose, insulin,and Leptin resistance. We've heard it all before, but I've never heard it explained in a way that involved the brain and outlined how it's all interconnected. And our brains on a sugar high; food addiction as strong as or stronger than cocaine & heroin. No wonder we can't do this, the millions who struggle. Or was it billions.
I will never again shame or blame myself for being weak willed. Instead I believe I am working towards healing my brain and that I am not one bit delusional.
I finished my lentil/turkey soup for dinner this evening as planned, and it's time to browse the kitchen for my Thursday meals. I want to make bean soup this weekend, but for the next two nights I think maybe something to use up the green and yellow squash, onions & corn, peppers. I know, spaghetti squash soup. I have a bottle of sugar free marinara in the garage, and I can pick up some clean frozen meatballs at lunch tomorrow. I'll throw it all in the Instapot after work and be eating by 6pm. Lunch will be salad again, but blue cheese instead of cilantro dressing, and for breakfast...hmmm....I think I'll make some potatoes O'Brian tonight and have them with sausage. Yes, that sounds delicious. And there are still grapes, peaches, oranges and apples to choose from for each meal.
It's so easy to get busy at work and forget to drink enough water; we often remind each other in the office but today zoomed by so quickly. So I'm off to make herbal tea and cook potatoes; I'll go ahead and prepackage a few breakfasts when I'm done.
It does feel good to know I will start out tomorrow prepared.
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Bright Line Eating, fasting included
Home from work, I was hungry and glad there was leftover soup in the fridge. Now sated I can relax and think about how to proceed. I need an actual food plan for the weighing and measuring guidelines, and have emailed CS on how to get those since I have the audio book. I wonder if I need to join something to get those. If nothing else they will be included in the 14 day trial I plan to do once C has settled from his latest treatment and I can spare some more energy on this.
So Day three and I realized that the reading I did about fasting has a place here at BLE. Eating three squares a day leaves about a 13 hour fast each night. Another piece of the puzzle solved? Will eliminating the flour and sugar also do away with my midnight prowling in the kitchen? She says it will, that it's part of the Free part of Thin, Happy & Free. I can imagine my brain calmed of all the chatter, I can feel my future ahead of me. So strange. But it doesn't feel like the euphoria that has accompanied me at different times as I found myself manic over a new eating plan, It's more like Susan has put her arm around my shoulders and said, 'I'm here now, it's going to be okay'.
Breakfast this morning was delicious and I have another serving ready in the fridge for tomorrow. It's a wild grains cereal mix, softened with Australian Greek yogurt and a couple of dates, then mixed with 4oz of blueberries hot from the microwave. I'll rinse and pack garbanzo beans to add to my salad at lunch tomorrow, and one more night of lentil soup. Then I think it will be time to change it up. I'll poke around online and see what I have in the kitchen so that I'm ready to plan the next set of meals tomorrow.
I am having a hard time with starting and ending my days; I wrote in my journal the first day and nothing since. I am reading from my meditation book, but not meditating yet. I think I'm waiting for the salt to dissipate so it's easier to get comfortable. And I think it will happen naturally that once I start waking up more clear headed it will be easier to spend some me time before rushing to get ready for work. Once upon a time rising before six and puttering in the garden was normal, but this past year I turn over to fall back asleep before rising at 7 and heading hell bent out the door to work.
Time to queue up another vlog by susan.
So Day three and I realized that the reading I did about fasting has a place here at BLE. Eating three squares a day leaves about a 13 hour fast each night. Another piece of the puzzle solved? Will eliminating the flour and sugar also do away with my midnight prowling in the kitchen? She says it will, that it's part of the Free part of Thin, Happy & Free. I can imagine my brain calmed of all the chatter, I can feel my future ahead of me. So strange. But it doesn't feel like the euphoria that has accompanied me at different times as I found myself manic over a new eating plan, It's more like Susan has put her arm around my shoulders and said, 'I'm here now, it's going to be okay'.
Breakfast this morning was delicious and I have another serving ready in the fridge for tomorrow. It's a wild grains cereal mix, softened with Australian Greek yogurt and a couple of dates, then mixed with 4oz of blueberries hot from the microwave. I'll rinse and pack garbanzo beans to add to my salad at lunch tomorrow, and one more night of lentil soup. Then I think it will be time to change it up. I'll poke around online and see what I have in the kitchen so that I'm ready to plan the next set of meals tomorrow.
I am having a hard time with starting and ending my days; I wrote in my journal the first day and nothing since. I am reading from my meditation book, but not meditating yet. I think I'm waiting for the salt to dissipate so it's easier to get comfortable. And I think it will happen naturally that once I start waking up more clear headed it will be easier to spend some me time before rushing to get ready for work. Once upon a time rising before six and puttering in the garden was normal, but this past year I turn over to fall back asleep before rising at 7 and heading hell bent out the door to work.
Time to queue up another vlog by susan.
Monday, October 7, 2019
Hungry! But it ain't a bad feeling
Mondays are always busy at work, and my decision to start Bright Line Eating yesterday was a bit of an inspired decision. I did some prep cooking yesterday but not having the food plan in front of me I neglected some important details. But it didn't matter. I persevered. Breakfast was hash browns smothered in sauteed veggies and about 2oz cheese. I picked up lunch fixings from Sprouts and threw together a delicious salad that included but was not limited to cilantro yogurt dressing, roasted unsalted pepitas and cauliflower. Dinner was left over lentil soup. The problem was proportions, and each meal was so filling I never got around to eating my fruit.
Tomorrow will be better; I have yogurt and grains soaking with dates for a couple of breakfasts, and I'll weigh my salad and stoup tomorrow so the servings aren't too large so the fruit will get eaten. Today I took a pear and a peach for a ride! The pantry and fridge are already stocked with many staples that I can use; while I haven't been trying very hard the last few years to eat for nutrition, I didn't let those habits go completely. So probably I won't have to hit the grocery store until Thursday.
So now it's been a few hours since dinner and I'm hungry. I have a night time tea brewing, and have no intention of snacking - the visualization of a bright line between myself and a bad decision is very effective. And it kind of fun to feel that little buzz in my stomach and have a longing to eat that is unrelated to indulgence.
Time to go write in my journal and plan tomorrows meals. Wait. I already did that here :) But I still have a gratitude entry to make, and tea to sip, and a show to watch. C has a treatment tomorrow at hospital so that is where my positive thoughts will be focused; my petty little food concerns really are as trivial as they seem.
Tomorrow will be better; I have yogurt and grains soaking with dates for a couple of breakfasts, and I'll weigh my salad and stoup tomorrow so the servings aren't too large so the fruit will get eaten. Today I took a pear and a peach for a ride! The pantry and fridge are already stocked with many staples that I can use; while I haven't been trying very hard the last few years to eat for nutrition, I didn't let those habits go completely. So probably I won't have to hit the grocery store until Thursday.
So now it's been a few hours since dinner and I'm hungry. I have a night time tea brewing, and have no intention of snacking - the visualization of a bright line between myself and a bad decision is very effective. And it kind of fun to feel that little buzz in my stomach and have a longing to eat that is unrelated to indulgence.
Time to go write in my journal and plan tomorrows meals. Wait. I already did that here :) But I still have a gratitude entry to make, and tea to sip, and a show to watch. C has a treatment tomorrow at hospital so that is where my positive thoughts will be focused; my petty little food concerns really are as trivial as they seem.
Sunday, October 6, 2019
Bright Line Eating
In the shower this morning, planning my day and thinking about shopping for food to support Bright Line Eating, the thoughts came fast and furious and I wanted to journal. I have purchased a paper journal for a daily evening gratitude entry, and thought that would be a good place, but immediately realized that my handwriting would never keep up with the words rushing from my little grey cells. So here I am, back on the blog I had forsaken as a futile exercise in self help.
Good for me, I haven't really given up, just taken a break. A break from managing my food, a break from disappointing myself, and a break from recording the whole shoddy mess. 'That being said' (I love to say that) I owe respect and gratitude to my past self for lessons learned, and for carefully putting my tools away so I could find and use them later.
I have not finished listening to Bright Line Eating yet, but I already have one foot on board. To oversimplify, there are many parts to the eating program that speak to how I ate for the three years I was eating for nutrition and lost 50 pounds. I've had a few conversations with people in my life about why I couldn't sustain eating that way, and perhaps Susan (Susan Peirce Thompson, Ph.D. who wrote BLE) has the answer. But I have been impressed enough to call this Day One and have erected three of the four bright lines that are proposed in her book. A bright line is a line you won't cross, and I drew mine this morning for sugar, flour, and snacking. Again, I am oversimplifying, Suffice it to say that I will not be eating sugar or flour, and I will not be snacking between meals.
For right now I will be pepping means for nutrition and following the guidelines for veggies, protein and fruit that I have found online for Bright Line eating. I haven't reached the food plan in the audio book yet, but I have been listening to a couple or three vlogs by Susan each day to supplement my listening. Breakfast was a side of sweet potato &onion hash and 6oz of fruit (blackberries & apple) microwaved until jammy and stirred into Greek yogurt and pecan pieces. A hearty breakfast. For lunch I sauteed peppers and onions until cooked then stirred in mushrooms and cooked until brown and the water had evaporated. For protein I microwaved with cheese and added some sausage. I had flavoured the veggies with fennel, italian seasoning and red pepper flakes so the resulting bowl had all the comfort of pizza but no sugar or flour. Not on program I would guess, but the proportions of veggie to protein should have been close.
Dinner was lentil stoup, made with a couple of smoked turkey wings, a little wild rice, and lots of onion, carrot, zucchini and spinach. I de-boned the wings and threw away the bone, skin and fat, adding the meat back to the veggies. So Delicious. I had forgotten how much I adore stoups. And there is enough for several more dinners, quick and easy, in the coming week.
As I continue learning about the program my menu will adjust accordingly, but I have no desire to dedicate myself to eating perfectly in order to get the optimal results. I am too old and know myself too well to go there. Instead I will eat more as if I were on maintenance for now. Just eliminating sugar, flour and snacks is already a huge change and I don't want to add any additional stress to my life.
Speaking of my life, let's catch up a bit. I began eating meat again a couple of years ago. Just BLT Mondays with the family at first and gradually other items became something I wasn't saying no to as my daughter and her family prepared their meals. Mostly it was just easier. And then came the holiday season of 2018, and with it RSV - a nasty cold virus - and complications for my little grandson C. He was in and out of hospital fighting to breathe, and finally in February was diagnosed with Leukemia. He has been in and out of hospital for treatments and urgent care on and off all year, including his 2nd birthday, and remains in treatment with a good chance of recovery. But the long term side effects of the treatment are something I know a nutritious diet may help mitigate and this is part of my incentive to think about my food, and weight, and ability to move so I can set a good example.
So here I go, putting on the oxygen mask.
I have a meditation book to read each morning, a stool to help me be comfortable while I meditate, and a journal to end each day with a gratitude entry. We have all learned that we need positive thoughts just to get through each day without losing our minds, and I have no room for any negativity. Part of Susan's philosophy is to remove the chatter from our brains, and I love how she has introduced brain science into the equation of how we eat, how we shouldn't eat, and why.
It's been a busy day, and I feel different just from deciding to do this. I have been listening to the book for a few days and woke up this morning and just decided. A quick trip to buy groceries and some time spent in the kitchen and I'm on my way. I'm really looking forward to eating better this week; I'm really looking forward to feeling better!
Peace Out.
Good for me, I haven't really given up, just taken a break. A break from managing my food, a break from disappointing myself, and a break from recording the whole shoddy mess. 'That being said' (I love to say that) I owe respect and gratitude to my past self for lessons learned, and for carefully putting my tools away so I could find and use them later.
I have not finished listening to Bright Line Eating yet, but I already have one foot on board. To oversimplify, there are many parts to the eating program that speak to how I ate for the three years I was eating for nutrition and lost 50 pounds. I've had a few conversations with people in my life about why I couldn't sustain eating that way, and perhaps Susan (Susan Peirce Thompson, Ph.D. who wrote BLE) has the answer. But I have been impressed enough to call this Day One and have erected three of the four bright lines that are proposed in her book. A bright line is a line you won't cross, and I drew mine this morning for sugar, flour, and snacking. Again, I am oversimplifying, Suffice it to say that I will not be eating sugar or flour, and I will not be snacking between meals.
For right now I will be pepping means for nutrition and following the guidelines for veggies, protein and fruit that I have found online for Bright Line eating. I haven't reached the food plan in the audio book yet, but I have been listening to a couple or three vlogs by Susan each day to supplement my listening. Breakfast was a side of sweet potato &onion hash and 6oz of fruit (blackberries & apple) microwaved until jammy and stirred into Greek yogurt and pecan pieces. A hearty breakfast. For lunch I sauteed peppers and onions until cooked then stirred in mushrooms and cooked until brown and the water had evaporated. For protein I microwaved with cheese and added some sausage. I had flavoured the veggies with fennel, italian seasoning and red pepper flakes so the resulting bowl had all the comfort of pizza but no sugar or flour. Not on program I would guess, but the proportions of veggie to protein should have been close.
Dinner was lentil stoup, made with a couple of smoked turkey wings, a little wild rice, and lots of onion, carrot, zucchini and spinach. I de-boned the wings and threw away the bone, skin and fat, adding the meat back to the veggies. So Delicious. I had forgotten how much I adore stoups. And there is enough for several more dinners, quick and easy, in the coming week.
As I continue learning about the program my menu will adjust accordingly, but I have no desire to dedicate myself to eating perfectly in order to get the optimal results. I am too old and know myself too well to go there. Instead I will eat more as if I were on maintenance for now. Just eliminating sugar, flour and snacks is already a huge change and I don't want to add any additional stress to my life.
Speaking of my life, let's catch up a bit. I began eating meat again a couple of years ago. Just BLT Mondays with the family at first and gradually other items became something I wasn't saying no to as my daughter and her family prepared their meals. Mostly it was just easier. And then came the holiday season of 2018, and with it RSV - a nasty cold virus - and complications for my little grandson C. He was in and out of hospital fighting to breathe, and finally in February was diagnosed with Leukemia. He has been in and out of hospital for treatments and urgent care on and off all year, including his 2nd birthday, and remains in treatment with a good chance of recovery. But the long term side effects of the treatment are something I know a nutritious diet may help mitigate and this is part of my incentive to think about my food, and weight, and ability to move so I can set a good example.
So here I go, putting on the oxygen mask.
I have a meditation book to read each morning, a stool to help me be comfortable while I meditate, and a journal to end each day with a gratitude entry. We have all learned that we need positive thoughts just to get through each day without losing our minds, and I have no room for any negativity. Part of Susan's philosophy is to remove the chatter from our brains, and I love how she has introduced brain science into the equation of how we eat, how we shouldn't eat, and why.
It's been a busy day, and I feel different just from deciding to do this. I have been listening to the book for a few days and woke up this morning and just decided. A quick trip to buy groceries and some time spent in the kitchen and I'm on my way. I'm really looking forward to eating better this week; I'm really looking forward to feeling better!
Peace Out.
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