Trying to get through a day feeling normal is hard work, and it shouldn't be so difficult. Sometimes it makes me really angry, but if I let that feeling grow I am more likely to just throw in the towel and head for my addiction of choice - food.
I have dreams & good thoughts, why don't these translate into action? Why am I so stuck inside myself? For some reason I thought I would grow out of this, but apparently that is not going to happen. I am so deathly tired of trying to analyze and fix and fight.
I just want to be happy, why is that so hard? Maybe that is the ultimate question - not why am I here, but, since I have to be here why can't I at least be happy about it?
And how come my keyboard is so filthy?
I may change the name of this blog to 'Perfecting the art of Whining'.
Later: I seem to have calmed down a little. I think it's the pain driving my craziness right now so I am more determined than ever to up my intake of anti-inflammatory foods and start back on the ibuprofen. I made a pot of ginger tea and have had a couple of large mugs this evening. I'll also keep up the omega 3 intake from flax and chia seeds so it can keep working on my brain. I will get through this rough patch without giving up.
I will get lighter, I will have less pain, I will be happier.