Bad Blood

Getting the results of the blood work I had done the first week of January should have discouraged me from driving through for breakfast this morning, but I am not that sane. The worst of the numbers was the 268 in the row named Triglycerides. Yikes. I should be dead of a stroke with a number like that. Weirdly enough my HDL and LDL numbers were 'fine' according to the lenient standards noted. But my thyroid and liver numbers were also not normal and the note from my Dr. says to "contact me if you are not feeling well". Seriously? I have not felt 'well' since whatever the episode I had was three years ago. This is my bad since that is how long I have been putting off having the blood work done, always wanting to wait until I could be sure the numbers would be good. Which of course has not happened.

So.

All of the little comfort foods need to go; butter, cream, mayo & the big one - CHEESE!  An overindulgence of these items are not part of a healthy eating plan by anyone's definition and I need to quit pushing the 'I Don't Care' button at the emergence of emotions or stress or challenges. I need to react from my brain and not my heart. Which is sort of an oxymoron since it's my heart and not my brain that is the organ in danger from my high risk response habits. Well, on second though maybe not, because it's the chance of stroke that scares me, and that is my brain.

Notice I did not list sausage or bacon on the list of 'must go' items above. Me, who wants to eat for nutrition, who wants to live a better life, who wants to drain the pity pool once and for all could not include the humble pig from my don't list. Harrumph!

Sigh.

The changes must be made once and for all. I must learn moderation for ever. It is fine to have eggs over easy on buttered toast every once in a while. It's okay to have a grilled cheese sandwich once in a while. It's okay to have pizza every so often. But 90% of the time I must eat well. I must cut out unhealthy saturated fats and get my triglycerides down. "Must Must Must" she chants as if it will make it so. As if sausage biscuits will magically disappear; my current heroin.

And finally my plunge off of the deep end, driving through for a Sourdough Jack for dinner. What the What??? My immature mentality of needing to eat something really bad before I can start eating really good is disgusting. I didn't even think of doing that, it just happened on the spur of the moment. But hopefully I have it out of my system and everything will start falling into place tomorrow. They had better...triglycerides at 268 for heaven's sake!

Breakfast: Decaff,  sausage biscuit

Lunch:  potato with sauteed veggie mix

Snack:  orange,  mixed nuts

Dinner:  sourdough jack

Snack: half an avocado and eight ritz crackers