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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Tired and Rambling

I sat down to bitch a little about work, but I don't want to go there - I don't want to be that person. I want to let it go, and enjoy my time here at home with the family. I want to putter a little and make another little dent in my nest. In a couple of weeks I will be leaving to visit my Mom and I want my room to rise up and greet me when I get home (Oprah).

So I think some meds are in order, then some sorting and filing. I should be able to clean off my dresser without too much angst, there is not really much left to do there which is probably why I keep ignoring it. And I could unload the dishwasher that I ran through last night. Dog, I hate having to talk myself into housework. When I win the lottery...but then you have to play to win and I seldom do that. So it's off to do my chores. How I wish I could be enlightened enough to always find pleasure in the simple things, at least a little more often than I do now anyways. But once the meds kick in I will be fine, or at least as fine as I am capable of getting on this particular day and time!

In the meantime I will remember how lucky I am to be able to do this work, that I have a cozy little house to take care of, and that I have a job and can make the mortgage payments. So it's not the life I dreamed of, but it is one in which I can find love and simple pleasures, and it's not over yet. I can keep learning about hope and making dreams come true.

Thoughts are things, so have good thoughts. And hug a kid, that is awesome therapy.

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