Woke up this morning wondering why yesterday afternoon was so difficult. While I did get my soup made and do a little more reorganizing, I couldn't stay focused and it was minimal. I think maybe the pain level is finally affecting me. While all of the extra movement seems to be good for me in some ways it has also aggravated everything; constant pain is a mood killer. I dread telling the Dr. about the new nerve twinges, as if telling someone makes it more real somehow. I think validation is the word I mean, something may exist but until it's validated it doesn't become solid. Sheldon from Big Bang Theory would know how to explain what I mean.
On the flip side, it's a beautiful cool morning here. The sounds of birds filtering through my open window are lovely. I would like to go walk but ... the idea of more pain is a little intimidating. I wish I had a better understanding of what is wrong and how to fix it; I think that part of my stable mood of late is that the anti anxiety pills are working to strip away the frustration I normally feel about my health and dampening the resulting mood swings. Maybe, it's just a layman's idea - because I have no faith that the Dr. really knows what's going on. I am tempted to cancel my health insurance and spend the dollars on alternate resources. Damn, this paragraph was intended to digress from whining and I am right back here again.
Change your thoughts and change your day, your year, your life. I will get better, I will recover from these injuries, I will be strong and healthy again before I am too old to enjoy it.
I think I will take a break from the garage today and putter in my room, I think a little organization here will go a long way towards improving my mood. And a green smoothie, I need a tall glass of nutrition to break my fast and start the day on a positive note. Great, I have a plan - now to wake up and enact it.
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