Sins of the Self, Deprivation & Overindulgence; or, I weary of the battle.
There was no battle yesterday, even though I didn't follow the CBS plan as outlined. I did take two Burn, but no Shape Shake. The day went just as planned, having a small popcorn at the movies, then a wonderful taco salad for dinner. And while the sour cream and crumbled tortilla chips were a little sinful, it was just a little bit and totally worth it. I had eaten a nectarine on the drive up to Lodi in the morning, and we had small bowls of MooseTracks ice cream for dessert. Oh, and a couple of drinks thrown in for good measure. A bottle of Angry Orchard hard cider (YUM) and then later a coke and cherry moonshine cocktail - so delicious I had two. Yikes, so when I add it all up a little more sinful than anticipated. We enjoyed the movie, then headed back to lounge in the air conditioning until dinner. Even though it was still warm at twilight we headed out on a walk into the vineyard that is behind his backyard. So fun to see the little green grapes in their bunches on the vines. And a good workout trekking on the soft dirt and uneven terrain.
I put some peanuts out for all the bluejays that were up in the pine tree outside the kitchen window and came away with pitch covered feet. Future reference - lemon oil works very well for cleaning it off and leaves a lovely smell!
I am back home early this morning; he has a Nascar race to watch and it's going to be 108 up there today. I have chores here and it's good to be home. But each time I go up I feel more at home there; it's really rather nice.
Back to my original thought - which came to me while driving yesterday - I am anxious to get back to where I was a couple of years ago when I had more balance in my eating regimen. Running smoothly in that mindset where about 80% is eating for nutrition and 10% splurging on treats (bread, butter, cheese) and the last 10% somewhere in the grips of the pleasure trap of oil, sugar and salt. (The rare potato chip or ice cream.) And when I spout percentages I think it's more about mental fences than calories. A 300 calorie pack of potato chips will never be 10% of my daily calories, but it can be a nice little splurge in an otherwise healthy week. Bottom line, splurging enough to keep out of the deprivation zone and never feel the need to overindulge. That's where I want to be again, where I will be. It felt good there. One of the reasons I am loving this CBS program is that is fits in with my ideas of what makes sense nutritionally, and supports a continuing healthy lifestyle.
I have come away from my latest visit with H determined to be in better shape and shooting my bow this Autumn. I will need to continue to lose weight and work on my strength for this to happen. I need to move more in conjunction with the CBS plan, and I still think Yoga would be good for this. In light of this I added all the numbers in the post title, because I think I do better with more short term goals linked together; I seem to have lost focus thinking about long term results. And speaking as a food addict, really I need to look at this one day at a time for a bit. Or even shorter terms than that. I had eggs, hash browns and sausage for breakfast with H this morning (small portions of each after my Burn) but that does not mean I will be off plan the rest of the day. I will have my Shape shake for lunch and a veggies for dinner and lentils for my lean protein. There are ripe nectarines to be eaten too, and will make a wonderful dessert tonight.
Once I am up from blathering away all my good intentions here I will get up and move move move - the least secret and most important part of any weight loss program in my humble opinion. Because it is about a lifelong habit of living healthy - and I have remembered why I want that, why I use my OTropin every day, why I originally began eating for nutrition. There are things I love to do, and the next forty years could be the best of my life if I take care of myself. So I will.
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