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Saturday, June 22, 2013

Orenda CleanBurnShape: 11/30 or 52/100

We have just ordered in Chinese for dinner, and my feeling is that I am not even pretending to try to stay on plan today. It feels like I have crossed over to the dark side after all of my good intentions last night and this morning. I am pretty ashamed of myself at this point, and very disappointed in myself to say the least. I just don't know how I got here and what to do to turn it around. Just keep fighting I guess. Have reasonable portions, and take a walk with Kaylee once it cools down. Start the day tomorrow with a positive attitude and healthy breakfast.

I wish I could write about the stress I am struggling with, but it's not my confidence to share. And actually, I should write about it - I can just take it off line and type it all out so I can try to make some sense of it all. I thought I was able to package it away but apparently not since here I am relishing the thought of sweet and sour pork instead of making my salad. And I don't even usually eat meat. God what am I doing???

This story had better have a happy ending, that's all I can say! 48 days to go, lets see what I can do.

Dinner was yummy, I had two veggie moo shu pancakes, one small scoop of rice, one small pile of chow mein, three small bites of sweet and sour pork, one pot sticker and one fortune cookie. My heartburn is testament to my days without refined carbs and incentive to go back on plan! Hopefully this meal purged the rebelliousness in my psyche and I can rededicate myself tomorrow. I know, a lifetime of tomorrows doesn't accomplish anything if there is never a 'today', but experience tells me sometimes a break is a good thing. I will count this as my 'Off day', switching it out for Monday which would have been my regularly scheduled Off day. Hopefully not too much damage was done, but I definitely won't be weighing myself in the morning; I can  already tell I will be swollen. Did I say how delicious dinner was?  I'll need to incorporate healthy versions of these dishes into our everyday cuisine so we don't crave them in times of temptation (hungry, angry, lonely, tired, etc.) I'm sure Susan over at has already composed similar dishes where we can gather ideas.  

Argh....time to find something to dampen the burning; think I'll have some more of my ginger tea, that should do it.

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