Down another pound. I felt it would be more so was a tinch disappointed. Knowing that was ridiculous because I am making good progress I jumped online to see what a pound meant. The size of a small grapefruit was offered as comparison, and the images that filled my screen of mock-ups of human fat were a little disgusting. So much garbage as I have been carrying around in my poor body. But I've knows this for years, and felt bad about it, and been helpless no matter how determined I may have been to remedy the situation.
I think I mentioned when I started this six weeks ago that I wasn't manic about this. That I was calm and accepting of the idea of food addiction and how to treat it. And I remember thinking that I would eat closer to the maintenance plan so as to not feel like I was 'dieting' and sabotage myself emotionally. After this past week I still think that was the right thing to do. I realized this morning that I am feeling a bit resentful that I'm not able to pour a small glass of eggnog, or have a treat at work, or share a box of donuts with the family. But it's just a thought and I move on. I think if I were being as strict as the losing weight plan is it would be just too much and I would rebel and it would just be another failed diet. But as it is I indulge in small ways everyday so that overall I am not feeling deprived. Cream in my morning coffee, butter on my vegetables, blue cheese dressing on salads, and breakfast sausage or cream cheese with triscuits in the morning. There is no way I feel that I am on a diet eating all of that. And while losing weight faster would be nice, and is still very important to me, I don't think it is my main motivation anymore.
Instead I look forward to feeling calm, like I don't need to eat the world. There is a post from years ago when I said I wished I could take a slice of the world and eat it all - or something like that. I don't want to ever feel that way again. Six weeks into Bright Line Eating and I feel better about myself than I have in years. Loose clothes and a slimmer face go a long ways to improve one's attitude, and with a good attitude one can accomplish much.
Breakfast this morning was left over wild grains cooked with raisins and then heated up with a serving of PB. Fresh sliced banana over the top rounded out the meal. Right now I am starving for lunch and I have turkey muffins cooking in the oven and a salad ready to go. The meatballs are seasoned with some pork sausage, and tons of onion, bell pepper and spinach. I threw in some poultry seasoning and feta cheese, some steel cut oats, and an egg. Once scooped into the muffin tin (coated with avocado oil) I added a little squirt of no sugar added ketchup to each top. I can hardly wait.
Dinner will be roasted carrots, hamburger and salad. Easy and simple. This afternoon I'll pack up lunches for the week using the turkey muffins and left over carrots.
It's a beautiful Fall day, my jeans are baggy, and it's lunchtime. Inotherwords, it's all good.
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