I am squishing in my journaling between grocery shopping (which of course entails putting them away) and drawing on my abundance of patience and love to care for my grandchildren. Well, one of them anyway, A keeps herself cloistered much of the time with her online gaming. We draw her out for walks, or she volunteers to head out to practice her skateboarding which is great because C spends the time running after her, wearing himself out to nap.
From the store I brought home everything I could think of that we might need in the way of food, but totally forgot to buy any meat. Maybe my brain is catching up to my desires? I did remember black eyed peas for our good luck meal tomorrow, and I splurged on some snacks for the grands, but did not purchase any traditional New Years Eve snacks. No fried prawns, no jalapeno poppers, no chips and dip. I just don't want them in the house. They are entirely too sexy to resist.
I splurged and drove through for a decaf coffee this morning with cream (my fat from lunch) so I have the 'motivation' to take down Christmas today. I look forward to the ritual; a favorite movie on the tv, and storing away the decorations for another year. Which will seem like tomorrow at some point, the years are flying by so fast.
I did well on my nightly checklist last night, only missing my meditation, which I intended to do at bedtime but instead was drawn into another episode of Bridgerton on Netflix. It's such a love/hate relationship I have with these period pieces; the beauty and grandeur of it all at counterpoint to the oppression of women and men alike. But I am enjoying the series, the feminine part of me living vicariously through the grand balls, picnics, and society in general that they display so beautifully.
Like just about everyone else in the world I am looking forward to a new year, but really it's just another day. Maybe I should have said I am looking forward to saying goodbye to this year, but for all the drama and trauma and loss of so many, it was still a growth year for me. Learning about IFS therapy, joining my mastermind group and doing parts work; these experiences and new friends are so important to me and my continuing journey.
Because while I haven't lost any more weight, I think I have done some much needed self-therapy that will stand me in good stead going forward. I will continue one day at a time to follow my Bright Lines. I will continue with my commitment to weigh daily, check off my list nightly, and work with my parts to bring my own true self to the foreground more often.
As you can tell, my spirits are riding high on caffeine this morning, but it makes no less significant my determination to keep working towards a more balanced and peaceful life. A life where I can continue to grow towards my original objective - which according to this journal back in 2007 is being more connected - to myself and others is what I think I meant at the time. And that is what Bright Line Eating is doing for me, so a win win so to say.
So no summary for the old year - it's history, and no grand plans for the new one - it's ADAAT. But that being said, I do love the energy of the world on this day; I can feel the positive energy of everyone looking forward to a fresh start. It's moments like this that confirm that yes, we are all connected, and everything we do matters to everyone else. How's that motivation to be a better person?
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