BIG SIGH

This morning was good, the afternoon exhausting, and the evening a fail.

Today's Food:

B: Christmas pudding

L: Veggie/lentil stoup, banana

D: Taco Bell steak burrito bowl, no rice

Snack: three small squares of Little Caesar's pepperoni pizza 

We left about a quarter to noon for the car dealership, and six long hours later my daughter drove home  their new Hyundai. About 4:30 while waiting for the car to arrive from another dealership we drove through and picked up burrito bowls from Taco Bell. No rice, extra tomatoes and lettuce. We had intended to pick up protein burgers from In N Out but they are next door to Chick Filet or something and the line of cars was incredibly long. The sizing was right on our salads, but after so many home cooked meals we found it rather tasteless - and they forgot to pack the hot sauce. Getting home a bit before R, I walked into the house, put my things away, and went to the kitchen to make tea. I had been cold all day, and wanted a hot drink. Two large pizza boxes were sitting on the stove. I tried ignoring them, put the kettle on, and went to change into my jammies. The family left for a test drive in the car and there I was; alone, tired, grumpy, not satisfied with our crappy little dinner, and the drug of choice (sort of) right there in front of me for the taking.

I am not a strong person. I am just glad I stopped at three squares (not large) and have since packed up the leftovers and requested they be taken out to the garage refrigerator overnight. At least I am trying to mitigate the damage. I should have just picked up the boxes right away and taken them out of sight.

So a little irritated, disgruntled, all in all mildly pissed off at the whole thing. Tomorrow morning I need to go to the office and get some work done, then I am planning on getting home in time to put a roast in for Sunday dinner. Pork roast, with brussels sprouts, carrots, onions, and a few red potatoes. Yum, and there should be some left over for a few meals. I also have some knockwurst type sausage in the fridge, lentils, and frozen veggies enough to pack up another four meals; enough lunches and dinners to get me through to Wednesday I think. 

I may make oatmeal in the morning before I leave, then drive through for a cup of decaf coffee on the way to work. In fact, I'll go soak some oats now so they are ready to warm up in the morning, thereby reducing the risk of getting anything other than coffee when I drive through. Just because today wasn't Bright doesn't mean tomorrow can't be.

What a horrible thing food addiction is. Just horrible. It may not have the same type of consequences as other addictions, but still soul crushing and life stealing.

I'm going to bed.