Another Bright Night

Yesterday was so busy, that sitting here last night I just didn't have the energy to post. All is well, just more physical than usual. We had moved the old couch into the driveway Thursday night, and yesterday morning the new couch was delivered. They unpacked the carboard cartons but we had to cut away the plastic, screw on the legs, and arrange everything. Lots of work, but glad of the new couch. Then yesterday afternoon M and I loaded up the old couch into a friends truck and drove it back to Costco to return - springs had popped through the bottom after four years - and once there unloaded the three large sections onto carts and went to stand in line. A short line and a full refund later we were back in the truck driving home. My only regret was not taking the time to actually go into the store to check out the presents isle to see if there was anything awesome for the kids, but no biggie.

I forgot to mention that before the Costco trip I had just finished doing the Christmas dinner shopping and putting away groceries, usually my only activity for the day so I don't stress my back. So three ways I kept busy all day, and ended up exhausted by bedtime.

The new couch is great, having an extra section so we can all fit comfortable to watch a move or football together. BUT, it's a little narrower than the old couch. The truth popped out of my mouth before I could stop the words, "If we all lose about 20 pounds we would fit better!" Yikes! My daughter smiled and just said, "Working on it!" And we let it go. What M and A thought, well,  they kept that to themselves.

Yesterday's Food:

B: Oatmeal, date & banana, PB & flaxmeal

L:  Leftover spaghetti w/ chopped red onion & lots of cherry tomatoes, apple

D:  Swedish meatballs, peas, green salad w/ artichoke hearts

I feel really good about my food yesterday, measuring out my fat and cooking a nice dinner for the family. And I had another Bright night, without a compulsion to eat or a sidebar in the kitchen. Just straight to the loo and back to bed. It's such a relief for that voice to be silenced, and I'm so grateful for this pause in my brain. Hopefully it will last a while and if it comes back I will be able to once again dissuade it from being a nuisance. If you can call an 'all powerful destructive force of evil; just a nuisance. 

Today's Food:

B: Oatmeal, date & banana & blackberries, flaxmeal

L:  Left over meatballs, broccoli, oranges

D:  Beans, roasted squash & onions, green salad

My BLF Master Mind Group this morning was supportive as usual, and as usual we learn so many things from each other and about the common parts we have with each other. Today we explored that piece of our authentic selves that gets squashed in our youth; being told we are too loud, or selfish, or inappropriate. Families everywhere do this to their children, maybe not on purpose, but it does happen. Part of it is the survival instinct I think, but most of it is learned behavior from our own childhoods. I myself have said many times, "Use your inside voice, please." This to both my children and grandchildren. How stifling! Family criticisms can be harsh, and I am thankful that my childhood was free of at least that. It wasn't until later I ran across the squashing of my authentic self. But that's another story for another time.

My come away from our meeting is to be more open to letting the grandkids be themselves, and not be so judgmental and censoring. Because they are actually pretty awesome just the way they are, after all.

Enough of Self care for the day, now to do some housekeeping! I always want the house to feel clean and pretty at Christmas, so it's time to get to the physical part of the day.