As I wrote down my weight this morning I also added a note, MUST MEDITATE. This has long been on my mind, literally years, and my group mates all do it first thing in the morning. After writing the words, the idea of starting this morning glanced off my grey cells and was deflected off into the nether lands by the pain that starts each of my days. There is no way I am getting down onto my beautiful little meditation bench right now. But today, instead of that being the end of it, I have made the decision to meditate later in the day. It doesn't have to be the same time every day, it just has to have a grounding event. Today I will meditate when C goes down for his nap. This makes sense as it will work M-F as well as weekends & holidays. He is only three, maybe by the time he grows out of naps, my body will be recovered enough to find a different time of day to meditate, but this works for now.
But I need to have a morning ritual, and I've decided to sit down to write once I have put the kettle on for my tea each morning. And since I will be writing at the beginning of my day, I can also commit my food. It may be specific, or just what's on deck for prep, but it will be a positive affirmation for keeping to my Bright Lines.
Then I will need to change my evening ritual since I won't be journaling before bed, and I can start by implementing another component of this program that I have attempted before, but have never followed through on, and start using my nightly check list. Thus far there are only five items on it, but as I go through my day and think about it and look on my original list I am sure I will add more before printing off the new list that I will start using tonight. And I will format it for only a week, as it may change again; using the list needs to be consistent, but not what I am checking off. 1. Journal 2. Bright Lines 3. Meditate 4. Went Outside. Pretty simple, one would think, and why would I have to be accountable for such obvious actions? Because I want to be accountable for doing them every day without exception, and science shows that we are more likely to follow through if we record\track our behavior. And lord knows my behavior needs to change if I am going to succeed. Because I want to be going out even if it's cold, or raining, or I'm just being lazy. I spend too many hours playing Animal Crossing when I should be up and doing things.
Because Bright Line Eating isn't just about not eating sugar & flour. It's not just about weighing our food and eating only at meal times. There is a whole program that supports being able to stick to the four Bright Lines, and despite my desperation to succeed, I haven't been following the whole program, just the lines. And that has to change, I have to step up. Or rather, I have to finally come all the way in and sit all the way down.
This morning instead of just saying I am going to do that, I am taking steps to make sure it happens. Part of the program is to have morning and evening routines, another part is to meditate, and these are the three things I am focusing on this morning. To put actions behind my intentions. Dreams don't come true if we don't put in the work. That's right, parts work, that will be number five on my list. Taking a moment each day to be curious about my feelings and the parts that are generating them. See, already up to five on the list.
Taking a moment to make my tea, I was in the kitchen and realized that in order to check Bright Lines off my nightly check list about 8pm every night, then my day needs to have started at 8pm the night before. Which actually makes sense; Susan says our day really starts the night before when we commit our food for the next day. Obviously something I won't be doing in light of the changes made above as I will be committing my food in the morning, but my day can still start then. And I do go to bed each night knowing what my breakfast options are. But I can't commit to cheese and crackers and then wake up with an urge to have oatmeal. I know after over a year that eating one thing while wanting another just wakes up my rebel who will wreak havoc that day. No, better for me to know there is oatmeal ready to heat up, and cheese available in the fridge so that I'm not actually having to decide which to have, but being able to follow my desire for breakfast come the morning.
Such simple changes, but it's feeling like a lot to me at the moment, and I'm getting hungry. So off I go.
Todays Food:
B: Eggs over easy on potato, melon
L: Pazole from the taqueria! Weighed, measured, and delicious
D: Roast & gorgonzola salad, artichoke dressing
Today I need to inventory the fridges and plan food for the next few days. Then I can tell you all about it tomorrow.
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