Another night, another chance to be Bright

This morning I made a batch of rice and prepared two containers of what is arguably my new favorite breakfast.

3oz refried beans

4oz rice

2oz chunky salsa

1oz shredded cheese 

A couple of minutes in the microwave and I'll have a warm, cheesy, spicy, delicious meal to start the day. Or a couple of days. I know I'm supposed to be neutral around food, but I do enjoy looking forward to something yummy.

Today has been good, nothing spectacular, just the usual chores, a walk with C on a beautiful sunny, breezy day, and three Bright Line meals under my belt.

B: Cream Cheese, Triscuits, banana

L: Chopped salad w\ garbanzo beans, parmesan cheese, artichoke hearts, cauliflower & blue cheese dressing, apple

D: veggie\lentil\steak stoup, the last red pepper from the garden & baby carrots dipped in Ranch dressing

I am hopeful for a Bright night, my emotions are in a good place and I've been pretty level headed today.  I'm still more tired than I feel I should be, and it was really hard working this evening. I gave up early (again) and joined the girls in some Animal Crossings. Silly, but relaxing. I am hoping the vitamin D I started taking last week will help, as well as the new OPC's I'm taking for inflammation - one from Orenda and one from my daughter's work, Shaklee.

One would think that the amount of pain I am in would be motivation enough to stay Bright at night. There are so many testimonies from other overweight people who lost the pain as they lost the weight. I want that to be my story too, and I am so close to being able to see that in my future. They say we are curious when in our authentic self, and I definitely want to know what is stopping me. There are the obvious answers about keeping on this fat suit so I can hide from the world. But what about the part of me that wants so badly to be healthy and fit and able to care for myself and my family. What about that part; why isn't she stronger? I really want to know.