The situation is the Boss

This was the subject of Susan's weekly vlog today, 'The Situation is the Boss', and in different words that is how we feel about C's Leukemia. It's the boss right now, and we are all doing what we need to in order to support his recovery. M stopped working to be a full time Dad, R works remote on days he has treatment, A helps take care of distracting him when others are trying to accomplish something; dinner, laundry, whatever. And I chip in where I can with carpool, hanging out with C while the family gets away for a few hours, just playing with him to give someone else a break. Because it's relentless. He is either full of energy and we have to monitor him to avoid injury, or feeling unwell and needs cuddles, or he's hungry but not finding anything we offer appealing. It's not to say there aren't perfectly normal times; playing at the park with Dad, building a tent with sister, walking down to the tot lot with me, or playing on his Mom like a jungle gym. But the situation is the boss, and for right now that is paramount.

No matter how tired I may be, it's nothing compared to C's parents. I just count our blessings that they have insurance, that they are able to live with me, that C is about to enter maintenance. It's still daily Chemo and monthly hospital treatments, but word has it his hair will grow back. It was hard letting go of our perfect little boy as he changed under treatment, and now we wonder who he will be afterwards. Still full of spunk and laughter and still himself. I know this. But there is another change coming, another situation to boss us around, and I wonder how it will look. And how he will look.

Life is change.

(b)  sausage, triscuits, banana
(l)   meatballs, veg, apple
(d)  lentil soup, salad

At 12:45am this morning I ate an Oreo. I stood in the kitchen emotionally exhausted from work, physically exhausted from the long hours I've been putting in, and just wanted a damn cookie. So I ate one. I didn't even think about my emergency action plan, or trying to fight. I just wanted the cookie. Only one and done. Then I ate on plan all day - not interested in the chips and guacamole and salsa at work. I even took a minute to explain that it wasn't about gluten, but about flour, when someone said I could have some.  I took a note from Susan and just said, there's more to BLE than just not eating flour and sugar. I'm feeling better I also said no to raviolis at home and ate my bowl of soup.

Sometimes I think maybe I'm not a ten on the susceptibility scale after all. But I'm not going to dwell on it. The point is that I am unstoppable. that is what Susan wants us to be, and I can do that. No cookie can stop me now.

I have my tea ready, and I'm ready to call it a day; currently that is my situation.