This past month has been a whirlwind of emotions, first the holidays and then a personnel problem at work. This past week has been horrible at the office, and I am feeling ... insulted? Disappointed? Frustrated? Anyway, work is not pleasant right now, and I guess I just needed to vent. It's My Bad. I let a situation fester right under my nose and was too busy with transitioning from 2019 to 2020 to realize how urgent the matter had become. Each and every one of my team has a good heart, and I hope we can work it out. If not I will have to let someone go - never a good thing- and being of a pacific nature, very stressful for me. But obviously more so for them, and I need to resolve this soon.
Whew, enough.
I had a good conversation with my sister D yesterday. It was good hear a voice of reason concerning my BLE Boot Camp experience so far. My first reaction had been panic when I signed up to start New Years Day, but I came to my senses and realized I needed to have it work with my schedule and not the other way around. I still haven't found the support I was looking for, but it's early days and I haven't really given it a chance. In the meantime I have been following my Bright Lines the best I can. It's getting easier all the time to see the cheesy poofs on the kitchen counter and ignore the treats that are still trickling in at work. 'Not My Food' has really become a rock on which to anchor myself. Other than the Oreo incident (it was only one) It was a no flour, no sugar week and I can feel good about that.
There were some really amazing moments this week too. Seeing my triglycerides cut in half, feeling my clothes fit more loosely, moving more easily getting up and down off the floor to play with C. All good things, and I can really see myself eating this way for the rest of my life. Yesterday I realized that if I continue to lose about a pound a week that I will be down another 20 pounds by Summer bathing suit season for a total of about 36 pounds. I haven't been in the pool for a couple of years - it was just too hard to even think about putting on a suit - and I regret that time I missed playing with A. But not this year, this year we will go swimming! So a big shout out to Bright Line Eating for this hope I have growing inside as my body shrinks outside.
(b) Ezekiel toast, eggs over easy, banana
(l) Turkey meatballs, peas, apple
(d) Pork tenderloin, roasted veggies, sauteed snap peas, rice, Tamari
One of the things I was thinking about yesterday is that I can see a time when measuring my food will mean one plate of delicious food instead of a glass dish in which I have weighed and measured my food as I am doing now. I may even make an occasion out of the transition and find some pretty plates that I love. Between wedding presents and heirlooms I've never done that my whole life - picked out my own plates. How wonderful that will be!
I continue to watch Susan's vlogs, and always find a treasure; something that lets me know she really does understand what it's like to struggle with food. And I am so grateful for her sharing so much of herself with the world. I believe her when she says this is a movement to change the way we think about our food. Just imagine a world where a Doctor is equipped to recognize food addiction, and clear headed people stop buying so much processed food. And here's really big dream; imagine that the government, we the people, can subsidize getting fresh food to states that don't have access instead of subsidizing fast food and dairy that just depresses everyone.
When Susan says she wants to see a million people in right sized bodies by 2020, I believe that it will happen if I am any example of the possibilities. Smarter, healthier people all over the world - think what we could accomplish. Think of the Star Ships! Ha!
Time to get busy. It feels so good to have a whole Sunday ahead of me.
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