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Thursday, June 18, 2015

Life as a series of Day One's

There have been so many times in my life that I have attempted a diet, or a new habit, and just failed. So many times I have started over, talked myself out of a bad place, and played the Pollyanna game in an attempt to steer my path away from the pity pool and back up onto whatever wagon it was I had currently hitched my hopes upon. But I will not feel like a failure, that only happens when you quit trying and I am not there yet. My two months detoxing from sugar was not pristine, but it was a measurable accomplishment nonetheless. I know I already said this yesterday, but I wanted to remind myself that I made progress and that is worthy of notice. Baby steps are still steps, and every day I get a day one do-over.

We just watched Alexander and the horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day or whatever it was. Corny but cute, and fun to see a family resilient and loving and supportive no matter what came their way. And I am thankful tonight as I usually am for my own little family and how we keep fighting.

Today could have been worse. I went in to work early because I was leaving early for my much anticipated massage. Instead I worked overtime covering my co-workers ass because she hasn't had her shit together for quite a while and I didn't want to let my boss down. (She knew this had to be done, ignored it for weeks, then didn't come in the day it was promised.) So instead I let myself down, not to mention my friend\neighbor\therapist whose time I accidentally blew off so absorbed I was in getting the work done at the office. The day does fly by fast when I am focused, but this was not a day I wanted to disappear. Venting done.

R brought me home a Lemon Noosa yogurt; what a perfect dessert, better than lemon meringue pie, except that there are 30g of sugar in it. But i'm not going to weep about 5g of sugar over a daily limit when my other choices for the rest of the day were sugar free and I got to enjoy the richness of lemon curd in a rich and silky setting. Okay, I had to google the pie and as close as I can see there are probably 60g of sugar in a piece. See it was a good choice.

Tomorrow is Friday, and I get A after work as the 'rents are going to a show in the city (SF.) We will probably swim and pick up something fun for dinner and play a game before watching a show once we are (read 'I am') too exhausted to do anything else. She is a fun date and I am looking forward to it.

But for now I get to lay down and see what the boob tube has to offer a tired and emotionally spent girl.

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