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Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A Tale of two cookies

Sometimes I have dinner early, as in driving through for a bean and salsa burrito on the way home at 4pm. If I don't go to bed and fall asleep by 9pm I find myself ravenously hungry. Even on a day like today when I was sure to hydrate adequately.

So I found myself doing something that has cropped up again of late; standing in front of the refrigerator with both doors wide open releasing cool air up and down my body while I peruse the items in vain for something 'I want'. A half eaten apple (we do live with a six year old), some honeydew melon, PB of course, drawers full of crisp delicious veggies that are not even in the running for selection, and an odd assortment of leftovers that I was not keen to open.

I remember the three years I was eating well and this whole 'browsing to no avail' experience just disappeared from my life. In Other Words, when I get enough nutrients I am not driven back into hunt and gather mode.

In the end I found two bakery cookies all alone in the bottom of a bag the kids had thrown in the wooden bowls that live on the back corner of the kitchen counter where they are waiting their turns to be filled with the afore mentioned crisp and delicious veggies (think salad.) The cookies were oatmeal with raisins and nice if not wonderful (it could have been both better and worse, there could have been chocolate involved) but do I remember the enjoyment of eating them? No. I remember the frustration of standing in front of the fridge. So not satisfying at all and I am sure there will be heartburn later since I ate them on an empty stomach. Yes I have tums by my bed. Another habit that had become obsolete but is now once again ordinary.

I really enjoyed living without heartburn. I really enjoyed having my size 14 jeans (ok, stretch jeans) fit comfortably. I enjoyed hiking and shooting and swimming without feeling like a whale. I say happiness should be enough of an incentive to stick with good habits and I want to know why it isn't. Really. Why.

Focus on the positive, remember what it feels like to make healthy choices, stop the damn heartburn in it's tracks. No more bread, tortillas or cookies for a while - heartburn is one pain I can fix so I shall do it. I shall.

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