Today was going well until D at work emailed everyone in the office a picture that had been taken at the brunch party. I was sitting at the front, and caught in the distortion of the lens, while the rest of the girls were circling around the end of the table. I was so angry\embarrassed\ humiliated by the picture, but it wasn't until driving home that I realized that I would never have sent the picture out where one person is caught in an ugly expression while everyone else looks nice. There were several pictures taken on a couple of different phones, and I am going to have to assume that it was the best picture of the most people. That there was no malice intended, that it just worked out that way. A cartoon horse caught in the middle of a rawkus whinney - in a pig suit. That was me. My first reaction was, I may never eat again. With that thought came the memory of having that exact same reaction to an office picture last year - yet instead I ate more than ever and now I am another ten pounds heavier.
On the way home I didn't get potatoe chips from the gas station, tacos from JITB or an ice cream from either BK or McD's. I did not pick up a spicy bite from 7-11. I came home and heated up a bowl of mixed veggies tossed together with my dirty rice. Lunch had been the other half of my cabbage salad with sliced pea pods and pepitas. So lots of veggies today.
And brunch - I had half a waffle with a small pat of butter and a scoop of fresh blueberries and strawberries on top. Oh, and a small glass of champagne. I hadn't counted on that and it was past my ability to refuse when I had already not taken pastries, muffins or cheese laden quiche.
God I am a twit, to try to hard so much of the time to absolutely no avail. What is the friggin point. I had better go cool off and collect my wits.
A little Harry Potter, reading some Dr. Seuss with A, venting with R who agrees it was rude to have sent the picture to everyone, and I am about over it. I think I'll go back to being invisible, it doesn't hurt so much.
Is my detox making me emotional? I foresee an early bedtime in my near future. And kudos to me for not putting any refined sugar on my plate today, anywhere.
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