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Thursday, April 23, 2015

Sugar Detox - Day 3/14

So many times today I wanted to write, but it's only now that I am getting to the keyboard. All of the stress of work, and then having an old 'panic type' attack in Lowes, and then getting home in an absolutely pissy mood I called it a day and put both my jammies and the tv on knowing I needed to decompress. It's been a while since I 'lost it' and I am blaming my eating of course.

First I was a person short at the office and worked through lunch. When I felt hungry I just chugged water not wanting to stop until I was done with the processing, that never happens, not on the 'natch. So heading home for the day at 3:30 I stopped in at Sprouts for a few things; apples, carrots and bananas. There was a display of organic cheese crackers so I looked at the label expecting to see sugar and there was zero, nada, zilch. So I bought the box, and snacked on the way home. In bad traffic. For an hour. Well there went about a thousand calories - literally. I neatly folded the empty box and tucked the evidence away in the recycling box once home.

Then I put away the groceries and my things as M was finishing up the dishes in the kitchen. Refilling my water bottle I thought I should make dinner so I would be out of the way when it was time to make theirs. So I heated up some pea soup and  made a grilled swiss sandwich. Halfway through dinner I realized I shouldn't have been hungry after eating all the crackers (which I had conveniently forgotten about while cooking) and what the heck was wrong with me! Adding insult to injury, checking the ingredients on the bread I had used I was astonished to see HFCS - we never buy bread with crap in it. But it had been a tight week for grocery money and there is no use being upset over such a small detail.  After dinner I laid down for a moment watching 'How The Universe Works' (love that series) and woke up about an hour later. Grouchy. Dehydrated.

Realizing it was garbage night R and I worked at getting everything out. I had picked up the parts to fix the leaky hose out front and throw away the expandable hose we had tried. Unscrewing it to throw away I noticed the bib was leaking and the old hose that I was going to fix didn't have the end piece to hook up to the bib. In the drought I couldn't just leave the dripping untended so I headed down to get a new hose bib for later because the old one was frozen and would need to be worked on another time and a cap to hold the water until we could get around to it. Lowes sucks. Bibs at one end of the store, hoses god knows where I never could find them in the garden center or the repair kits or anyone to help me until I was close to tears and pissed off. So of course then I was rude and then I had to apologize and then I fled with just the. Shakey, teary, mad at the world. And then screwing on the cap the damn water kept dripping! I left it in M's capable hands and fled.

Now it is much later, and I can see what happened. Damn those crackers and my irresponsible eating. But at least I am now calm and the day is over and I can put it all behind me. It's been a long time since I had an attack and I hate that I put  myself in that position. Nutrition and emotions definitely have their wires crossed, and a spark on one can wreak havoc with the other.

My snack tonight was an orange, juicy and sweet and delicious. Real food, real nutrition. Tomorrow will be a better day. No skipping lunch again, no binging on anything that I wouldn't normally even be eating just because there was no sugar in the ingredients. With highly processed grain there doesn't need to be, our bodies are very accommodating that way. Just food, just common sense for day four.

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