Yesterday ended well. I counted my mid morning splurge as my lunch, then waited and ate a Bright dinner at my usual time. Unfortunately I ended up in the kitchen, with rather more than a snack as is usual when eating in the wee hours of the morning. Again, no sugar or flour, but a fourth meal for sure. When I posted in the official FB page someone mentioned they used Ambien to cure their night time eating. I really don't want to go down that road.
Today is Bright so far, I have cauliflower roasting in the oven; that plus two ounces of cheese melted on top will be lunch. That comes from watching someone making stovetop mac n cheese on the food network this morning. What was I thinking? Not much actually, just looking for something to watch while drinking my tea. And blam! There it was.
I am cleaning out the fridge today when C takes his nap; organizing my food and seeing what needs to be cooked. It gets very cluttered in there rather quickly, and it's easy to lose sight of what's available. Even with the fridge in the garage for overflow, it seems unmanageable lately. Partly because of M doing Daniel's fast, and partly because of my inattention. A sure sign I am not on board as I should be. And I am hungry. Because of the extra calories yesterday my appetite has skyrocketed, and it seems so unfair.
I know that millions of us ask everyday, why me? Why does food have to be such a huge challenge in my life? It's been suggested that this is one of the paths to enlightenment, that in solving the food problem we learn about our lives and raise our consciousness. I think back to 'Eat Pray Love' and Liz Gilbert bemoaning that she would just like to have an unexamined lunch!
The lure of eating what I want and chucking this all to the curb is strong in me right now. Which means my indulger is on a rampage and it's time to sign off and do some parts work. Right at this moment, I truly feel that this journey SUCKS. Luckily, I also know that this feeling will pass, probably after I eat lunch!
What a grump I am today. My Bad.
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