I have just watched President Biden sign legislation to continue the work against racism in our country, and Senators being sworn in to abide by the constitution during the 2nd impeachment trial of former president Trump. How clearly the juxtaposition of the actions of these two men show their characters. I am so grateful that most Americans made what to me was clearly the right choice. And my love & light go out to our new president to support him in his efforts to address the concerns and fears of those who didn't choose him as a path forward. Truly, so many of us just want 'liberty and justice for all'. For All.
C is snuggled up on my bed watching Super Wings as I sit to type, and with all that is going on in the world what am I thinking of? Of a number, a stupid number. Because 202 seems to be where I stop, and today my focus is breaking through that barrier. I remember hovering around 200 before at different times in my life as I struggled with my weight and the loss thereof. So it's not an unexpected plateau, and I think that is part of the problem, this mental barrier that someone other than my own true self has set in place. And not just set, but firmly anchored with false expectations of what will happen if I cross over, break through, and manage to defeat this obstacle that is clearly only in my mind.
My focus today is on integration, bringing together the three protectors who have come forward in my IFS sessions and try to address their concerns with all the love and compassion I can muster. I am a middle child, Piscean woman who has depths of compassion for everyone else, and today I am dipping deep to find some for myself, so I can move forward. So I can have a second Bright night in a row, and keep working my way through the miasma of emotions that this dumb little number represents. That may be the wrong word, because I certainly don't feel that this number represents me, who I am, and what kind of person I think I am. Well, maybe it does represent the part of myself that I am trying to heal, I will give it that much.
How do I do that, what is my battle plan to ensure victory? To do the work, and visualizing each of the three, sitting around a table together with my own true self, and having a nice chat together, is certainly a good start. A glaring issue immediately pops up, and I realize that while I know exactly what they look like, I have no avatar for my own true self. So maybe that is the first step, to build a vision of how I see myself so I can take a place at the table. Nothing comes to mind, and as C is now on his way to an afternoon nap, I know what it is I need to do next. Meditate, and see what I can create.
It feels like a peace summit is looming, and I want to show up prepared to show these protectors what unity can mean for all of us going forward.
Sort of like running a small country, isn't it?
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