Yesterday was not as awful as the day before, and today will be Bright. I lay in bed this morning luxuriating in the feel of warm flannel sheets against my bare skin, and began my day with steady breathing and meditation. Next I weighed in and was unsurprised to see a gain; up one and a half pounds from the start of daily weighing just after Christmas. My internal, ever present calculator knows I now have another couple of weeks to tip the scales in the correct direction; I am after all the Queen of Maintenance. Which will be great once I am at goal weight, which I am NOT.
Dressed and in the kitchen I found myself fantasizing about harvest grain pancakes; cutting a golden triangle of nuttiness just dripping with butter and BLAM, I had the sense to stop the vision, and ask myself how I want to feel tomorrow morning. Disappointed or Delighted. I chose Delighted and weighed out my oatmeal, flax, pecans and cream cheese and warmed it all up in the microwave. And had a banana.
Lunch was meatballs with roasted onions & cabbage and part of a large Asian pear. Just before lunch I had started a batch of veggies in the instant pot (bok choy, onion, red & yellow peppers, mushrooms, and lots of carrots) and after lunch used them with the rest of the beans left over from last week to pack up some more meals. There are still containers of left over veggies (two kinds) and meatballs (spicy and full of allspice and nutmeg) that are ready to combine into more quick and delicious meals next week.
The only food prep left today are the raw veggies for salads, but my back has been used up for now and they will have to wait for this afternoon.
Taking a quick look at my paper journal I see that I am at about 50% for filling out my nightly check list - still working on consistency there - and then I take the time to read some of my heartfelt notes from over the past year plus since I begai Bright Line Eating.
"Define your journey in a way that serves you." "Do the next right thing." "The simple truths are self evident in everything." I find comfort in the fact that my own true self resonates to the truth of these words. I find comfort in the reality that everyday I am making the attempt to know myself better, and in doing so finding that hope remains alive and well at the core of who I am. No momentary rant or anger, no broken lines or frustration, will derail me from my purpose of finding freedom from the food obsession that has twisted and warped my life. I am unstoppable.
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