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Saturday, July 20, 2013

Orenda CleanBurnShape: 9/30 or 80/100 or 1/1

Wow, I didn't write all week. I think instead I rediscovered the link between pain and eating, and how easily I can disappear into the addiction of online farming. Waking up in pain is not fun, and while not the worst lot life can hand out, it's very frustrating to be back at a place I have so recently vacated. The fall last weekend really tweaked my right side, shoulder and hip, and .... well just Grrrrrrrrr. I took several walks last week trying to keep my hip limber, and spent time at the pool with A making sure to work my shoulder with the same goal in mind.  Limping to the bathroom this morning I felt old and decrepit, NOT fun. Not me. Not acceptable. Hence the eating, I had forgotten what a distraction it is from pain to simply eat. Getting on the scale this morning I was glad to see that at least I hadn't gained anything, and pissed off I had wasted a week by not losing anything.

I did use my CBS products, which is probably why I maintained my weight despite the sausage muffin & decaf with cream and sugar I had EVERY morning on the way to work last week.(I won't bore you with the rest of the details of my gluttony) Lord give me strength. Well, give me Cleanse at any rate; today will be a clean day and maybe I'll even make it a clean weekend and go back to the initial cleansing schedule. I remember fondly those first ten days and how my appetite had checked out for parts unknown. What a relief - I could use that feeling again about now.

Other extenuating factors for my 'lost' week (I wonder how many lost weeks in a row this now makes... six?); M is gone again for an indeterminate length of time, H mentioned getting together this weekend and despite a gentle reminder from me has failed to mention it again (time to rethink this little scenario?), my taxes are still not done....and the pain, the pain! (lol, did you just get a visual of a little guy in a white suit pointing up from an island to a plane in the sky???)

I'm wishing again this morning that I hadn't turned down the hot tub a couple of weeks ago, what rotten timing that turned out to be. But it confirms my theory that you only need something once it's gone; we all take too much for granted day in and day out. Human nature and all that.

So where are my positives this morning. I didn't replant any of my 19 farms in Farmtown so there is nothing urgent there to draw me in this weekend; I have a massage scheduled for later this morning (super YAY); It is to be a warm weekend and we can get in a lot of swimming; My little dog loves me; I have a fridge full of veggies so no grocery shopping required this weekend; I have amazing reserves of strength, I just need to remember to tap into them.

I must say I have missed the act of writing this past week, and it feels good this morning to clatter away and clear my brain.  Damn I wish the tub were hot....

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