Those first few moments of relief as I slid into the hot steaming water were so wonderful, the pain disappearing as each new part of me was embraced by the healing heat. Gone were the aches and pains of another long day. It will be a relief to go back to work tomorrow and use more brain than brawn because I have just about worn myself out.
The girls dropped by as planned this morning and then were gracious enough to come back for dinner. I just couldn't let the holiday go by without some type of small celebration with my little family. And while I was too tired for colouring eggs, we can do that another day, and at least I have some leftovers for meals this week.
Some of my favourite holiday memories are of sitting around the big round table at my grandparents. Two half rounds of plywood hinged together would fit over the round patio table in the living room, and over that would go the white linen table cloth. It was a big to do setting the table, fixing the candy dishes, and laying out the silver. Then there would be bowls and platters of wonderful things to eat and ten or twelve of us sitting around in a big circle. Mom would have sewn new dresses for me and my sister, and there would have been lots of running around like tomboys while looking like angels. There is a part of me that regrets I am unable to give my granddaughter that same experience. I think I mostly came to terms with that years ago, but with the recent break with H I am definitely a little hypersensitive just now.
And while I would like to think that in a parallel universe somewhere events unfolded today a little closer to how I once dreamed a holiday would be like, it hurts just a little too much right now to even contemplate that and I have to let it go.
Thank heavens for my girls; how many times have I thought that lately. I have so much more than some will ever have, and I am truly grateful.
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