Knowing one will be left behind is one thing. To find evidence of it, well, that is quite another. But I fought hard, and contained my emotions long enough to get home safe without embarrassing myself. I am happy for H that he is enjoying feathering his new nest, that he has met a new 'friend', and that he will apparently be just fine without me. The nerve. Big Sigh. I don't mean that last bit, it just surfaced unbidden from this place that hurts just a little bit too much. Have I been suppressing my feelings? Of course I have. But I am still sure it was the right decision; it's good to see him happy for a change.
I am exhausted through and through, from my skin to my soul, and I need to escape into sleep.
Sufficient unto this day was the evil thereof.
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