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Saturday, March 16, 2013


It's not what the day brings, its how you handle it. Death days are perfect examples. Looking around my office this morning and not knowing where to begin, my eye lit on the picture of a young woman holding her two very young boys, a toddler and an infant. They both look very much like their father, a friend and neighbor who died in a power line accident - just over a year ago I think. Maybe longer, the time eludes me. Anyway, the quote above came to mind as I looked at the picture and wondered how she was doing. We each have a D-Day to get through each year, yet for each other that day is just one like any other. It's true that the power is not in the day, but how we react to it. Or rather, it only has the power we give to it. The day itself is no more or less special than any other day.

And this is true any and every day. When my grief first began to fade in small patches as I found a reason to smile more often, as my granddaughter became old enough to hug me and hold on to me like I was something special, I panicked that by letting go of my grief I was letting go of Joey. Like I was betraying him by not letting him die again a little bit every day and keeping the angst alive in my heart. I know by now that he will always be with me, and I don't need to torture myself on a daily basis for that to stay true.

I need to translate that lesson into how I handle...everything. Including letting go of memorabilia that serves no purpose, and even worse a negative purpose. As my very smart daughter pointed out, if it doesn't make me happy throw it out. And she is right; how can I react in a positive manner to each new day if I am surrounded by sorrow and failure and their ugly red headed step child guilt.

And this isn't just about Joey. It's about lost business opportunities, art projects that never made it off the ground, and old VHS tapes that I will never want to watch again. It all has to go, and somehow this morning after thinking it through I am okay with that.

What I said, Writing helps me Think ♥

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