See's Candy, meal prep, and whining

Currently in the Instant Pot:  tri-tip cut into chunks, package of pre-cut package from market of onions and green & red peppers, i bag of sliced mushrooms, half a carton of beef stock, Mrs Dash's chipotle mix..

Currently in the over: butternut squash, carrots and onions, Mrs. Dash onion mix.  I have some knockwurst to use for my protein to go with the roasted veggies.

So there's my food prep for the next few days.  I am planning on having a meatloaf sandwich for breakfast tomorrow; yes, I still get excited about food. That has not changed. I have Ezekiel bread slices out to thaw, and I will be sure that is my only whole grain for the day.

A box of See's Candies showed up at the office today, or rather, a pound of candy for each of us. I have given mine to M to take to a meeting - I don't want it in the house. My dad did insulation work for them for years, and subsequently died of mesothelioma. But I still love the candy, and know it's too much of a temptation to have around. It's too much a part of my holiday tradition. At this exact moment I am not feeling very good about my chances of keeping my Bright Lines through the holidays; it's hard to believe I was so positive just yesterday.

(b)  pumpkin custard
(l)  chili
(d)  lentils, roasted veggies, rice

I'm tired again this evening, same old same old. But I have done my chores and earned my rest. Time to focus on C and get out of my own head.
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Eight more meals packed up and in the fridge, pans washed, kids in bed, the house quiet.  I'm calmer than before, settled, confident again. The mood swings these past few weeks have me a little rattled. I was so calm and centered the first month, and I wonder what changed. I'm as consistent as I've ever been, which isn't saying much, and I think it boils down to...hard work. The part that comes before Happy, Thin, and Free. The storm before the calm?

I think it's time to reach out for support. And I immediately think, well, no. I want to be social, I really do, but I never have been unless forced.  Sigh, too tired to think about it. Time for tea and Star Trek.