Bright Line Eating: week 12 in review

I forgot to review my week yesterday,so here it is.  It was a struggle. Surrounded by Christmas goodies and family that isn't on a schedule of meals and workers eating holiday treats brought in by vendors I guess I am mostly proud of myself for all of the times and things I didn't eat. So I will focus on that instead of dwelling on the small battles I lost.  The scale is in the garage and I had decided the night before I wasn't going to weigh in. Lord knows I didn't expect to see a loss and I didn't want the added chatter. Instead I celebrated by having a strong Bright Line day, getting things done around the house, and prepping for the coming week as usual.

Today was another strong Bright Line day, and I'm feeling good about getting my head straight. There is so much baggage left over from years of trying and failing, and I realized after posting yesterday that I was my own worst enemy. I had worn grey slacks and tank with a tailored black sweater and black boots, my hair braided over my shoulder, and the overall effect was very slimming. Normally I don't check myself out too closely in the mirror, but I had taken the elevator to the second floor at work and most of the back wall inside is a mirror. I was surprised by what I saw, pleasantly so, and I think at that moment I was triggered to eat.

I believe it's an old response, learned to keep myself less desirable, that when I notice I am thinner I start eating. I was in my 30's when I told my neighbor to please not comment on my weight when she complimented me on a recent weight loss. I was nice about it, and explained why it wasn't good for me to hear that. But it wasn't until years later that the why of it all became clear. Like so many other women who have been molested, wearing a fat suit had become the best line of defense. At the time I didn't know about food addiction, and still hadn't put together the pieces as I did just a month or so ago after starting to heal my brain.

So all told I have to chalk the past week up to a success. I am very happy to know I will NOT be gaining holiday pounds this year. I may not be losing during the season as I bragged of in an earlier note, but I am feeling good about how quickly I am rebounding from the few indulgences I had over the past week.

(b) pumpkin custard

(l)  roast, green beans, butternut squash, banana

(d) chopped salad with ham, cheese, onion & cauliflower

I know I have said this before, but I love how long it takes to enjoy a large salad. 

Face it, I love eating.