Well I made it home safe and sound, Bright Lines intact. I wanted to stop for a Star burger, or fries, or anything. But I was too tired to stop at the market and I knew I had soup etc at home. Traffic was really bad; thank heavens for audio books or I would be insane. On the way home I thought about my dinner, and what I could do to mix things up so I would be enticed to arrive home without eating. Sometimes an hour can feel like forever.
Sometimes I add whole grains at lunch or dinner depending on my mood and appetite, and since I had soup waiting for me I suddenly realized I could make a grilled cheese sandwich. YUM. Ezekiel bread, and swiss cheese. I ate half the soup since half my protein was in the sandwich and called it a day.
(b) cooked grains, banana, flaxmeal & PB.
(l) roast, onions, peppers, banana
(d) grilled cheese, bean soup, green salad
Dinner felt decadent, and I'm finally warm, relaxed, and sated.
It was just another manic Monday, and we were busy all day at work. Sometimes I miss being able to come home and just crash. I mean, I still could, but I hate feeling like I'm not pulling my weight so I usually don't. Tonight there is too much going on and it's a small house so I am kicking it in the bedroom with C. He's good company, and they can get more done out there when he is in here with me. See, I'm helping, it only looks like I'm goofing off.
I'm looking forward to keeping my Bright Lines this week. Looking forward to feeling good about myself and this journey. I think it's a little easier to move around, though one wouldn't think it to see me hobble after sitting for an hour or so. But once I get going I'm in less pain. I can hardly wait to feel what it's like after another ten pounds are gone.
The last time I carried in groceries that were a bit heavy I realized how it doesn't take adding on much weight to have a negative impact. I suppose that it's different when the gain is gradual and you don't realize how awful it is or how it's affecting your body, your pain, your mood. I am so looking forward to feeling better. Moving better. Doing better.
And then I think about how long it's been since I looked forward to anything, and I am once again somber. Not horribly so, I am definitely better this holiday season than in recent years, just regular sad for a moment. I'll let it wash through me, and try to let it go.
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