This morning I slipped on some shoes and a sweater and made my way through a dripping grey morning to the garage. Once on the scale (sans shoes and sweater) I looked at the number and was not surprised that I had not lost weight in the past two weeks. I was glad I hadn't gained anything, and have talked myself into believing that the change of location is the culprit. Not the extra calories I have been eating, but the fact that the scale is in the garage and I had on different pajamas is to blame for seeing the same exact number as the last time I stepped on the scale.
I reacted well, determined to stick more closely to not just the Bright Lines but to the tools. As Susan explained, this is not a diet, it's a way to manage a disease. And I have only been following a part of the plan. I don't remember when I stopped writing in my gratitude journal, or doing a nightly check-off, they just sort of slid off of my radar. But they are part of the program for a reason, and I do myself a disservice by not taking the time to invest in the whole process.
I think my original goal was to detox from sugar and flour; to rid myself of the overwhelming desire to eat things that I know are bad for me. And I think that while I have made great progress, I have also not entirely embraced the fact that I can't have the occasional bite of something decadent and off program. Thanksgiving was an eye opener, and I struggled for days before the chatter died down in my head. This past week was much better, and I guess that is why I was a little surprised in the garage this morning - I felt like I should have lost.
That being said, I know very well the vagaries of weight loss and the multitude of factors that contribute to a number on any given day. I am encouraged to be more kind to myself and make better choices this coming week.
To that end I have spent some time cooking today, and I have four lunches and four dinners read y to go. Lentils, Brussels Sprouts, onions & carrots make up four containers, then turkey meatballs, peppers, tomatoes & onions (spaghetti sauce) in the next four. My plan is to prep a couple of dinner salads tonight so that I have one ready for when I get home tomorrow tired and hungry - because you know, it will be MONDAY again. And that's what happens.
I'll do some more shopping and cooking later in the week to make the next set of dishes. My goal this week is to stick to the weight loss plan and not indulge in extra servings of grain that are part of maintenance. I really enjoyed the 'pot roast' I did in the instant pot last week so I may do that again but definitely skip the potatoes. It's such a quick and easy dish, and I can use whatever meat is on sale that day at the market.
So go me, so far no weight gain this holiday season, and committing to better choices this coming week. I am leaving the scale in the garage again, but think I need to weight next Sunday. Hopefully not having it staring me in the face every time I am in the bathroom will prevent any chatter. If it doesn't I'll go back to only weighing every two weeks. This is a learning process for me, and I will figure out the balance between staying accountable and not letting the scale mess with my head.
Time to go make salad and enjoy a Bright Line dinner.
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