Looking past Monday

I am determined to not complain again about it being Monday. Even I am tired of it.

The house is unusually quiet. I can hear A chatting on her ipad with a friend (we share a bedroom wall), and C is sleeping in his parents bed while they are off deciding what's for dinner. So peaceful, but with an edge of listening to keep me on my toes.

(b) raisin toast, cheese, banana
(l)  black-eyed peas soup with knockwurst, apple
(d)  meatball, roasted sweet potato & onion

Once again dinner is so filling I am skipping my salad. I know it's not right, but it doesn't feel wrong enough to do anything about it. And besides, the kitchen is clean right now and I don't want to clean up after myself anymore than I have to this evening - did I mention it's Monday??

The soup I made this weekend was delicious at lunch today; it makes me so glad when soup turns out right. But the whole switching decaf coffee for decaf black tea this morning wasn't so great. Turns out I am more susceptible to the caffeine in the tea, and the pitter pat of my little heart was not welcome today. I like feeling awake but calm. After years of taking anti-anxiety meds for my back, I had to re-learn how to be calm without them, and here I am years later again, and not wanting to rock the boat. So I'm not sure what I will be drinking in the morning to 'get going'. Maybe decaf green tea? Or maybe some herbal licorice.

I've been totally without caffeine before, I know it's totally doable, but I wasn't getting up to drive in traffic to a JOB at that point in my life. What to do, what to do. I don't want to go back to coffee because it's too much cream - even the coconut, oat milk blend I am currently using is processed, and part of losing the coffee is cutting back on that too.

So many little details to simplifying things, I guess like anything else it gets worse before it gets better. But it will all work out, I know this. And I love that I see it all as little challenges to figure out, instead of being overwhelmed by the bigger picture. And I do see a bigger picture, where most things have been simplified, leaving the time and brainpower for really important stuff.

Bright Line Eating has allowed me this perspective, and I am so grateful. Because before it was always, "when I lose weight". Everything came after that. And now that I can see that happening, all of that everything is seeming real.