BLE: "Your Body in Balance"

I have known for years and years that I need to quit eating dairy. The three years I followed Dr. Fuhrman I felt good, but even then my treat each week was to pick up a roll and some cheese from the deli while grocery shopping. And adding an ounce of cream cheese to my stoups at dinner was not uncommon. And parmesan to my salads. So yes, cheese is and has always been a good friend. Good Grief, I sound like Spock talking to Kirk. 

The point is that I am listening to the new book by Dr.  Neal Barnard, and he is grinding home the point that cheese is not and never has been my friend. Not when I was a child sneaking into the kitchen, not when I was a teen plagued by horrible painful acne, not as an adult trying to treat asthma and allergies. And not now, trying to get into a right sized body and recapture enough energy to keep up with a four year old.

So today I tried to go without. I haven't been shopping since making the decision, so beans and roasted pecans made up the protein that last week would have been cheese.

Today's Food

b)  homemade refried black beans, rice, salsa & an orange

l)   green salad w\ red pepper, red onion, red kidney beans, pecans, oil & vinegar, an apple

d)  sautéed veggies, chicken sausage, white beans, grape tomatoes

For breakfast I had the full 6oz serving of beans instead of splitting it with cheese; I was still ready to eat at 11am, so didn't feel any difference there. My 'red' lunch salad was good; it felt lighter than usual but I was good until dinner. I had pre-packed some dinners with the chicken sausage prior to making the decision to forego animal protein, but at least I had already split the protein with beans, so it was only a 2oz serving. 

I'm a little hungry, nothing unusual about that, and anxious for these next couple of days to go by so I can tell the difference. My first hope is that the inflammation in my hands will be better in the mornings. My second hope is that I will start sleeping better making it easier to stop snacking at night. Listening to the book and revisiting how hormones are designed to work and how dairy can make it all go wrong made me cringe. We are such intricate creatures, and I see how I have been throwing a monkey wrench into my operating system for years...for my whole fucking life really.

I knew this before. And it makes me sad to know a part of me decided to 'just forget about it' so I could keep indulging in dairy.

I imagine there will be some grief involved, and that my saboteur will run amuck trying to convince me that just a little won't hurt. But after a year and a half of Bright Line Eating I know I am a food addict, and after being reminded of why cheese is so addicting I don't see how I can do anything but give it up.

I also watched my oil and salt today, weighing my salad dressing for a change, and choosing Mrs. Dash instead of the salt shaker.

One Day at a Time. I can do this.