I find anger lurking just beneath the surface this morning, my narrator trying to insert false ideas that in theory should justify eating before lunchtime. Wondering about the why dissipates the urge to eat, and instead I am grateful for the lunch that is set out on the counter awaiting mealtime. Instead I am interested in the grumblings of my stomach and thinking about the why of it. My best guess is the heavy dinner that included meat and cheese. I remember something about digesting animal protein, and how once the body is geared up to process it (acid), it craves more of the raw material to keep processing.
What did Fuhrman call it? Toxic hunger? What I am feeling is not hunger, but the withdrawal symptoms from digesting a toxin - otherwise known as animal protein. God, it's all coming back. The reason I started eating for nutrition, the studies, the science, the moral dilemmas.
In a way it's a good thing, this feeling; the shakes, the stomach growling like a starving bear, the slight flush in my face and the anxiety in my chest. I'm feeling it all, and just knowing it's not hunger helps to calm my mind.
Glancing at the clock I see it's only eight minutes to lunchtime. Thank God.
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