Anita's is a family restaurant downtown that evokes many memories for me. Dinner with my son, the Wedding Rehearsal dinner for my daughter, and good Mexican food served in a cozy colourful setting. For years the owner would come around saying hello, making everyone feel welcome, checking on the quality of our meals. Tonight is their last night in this location, and if they can't find a new one, the business will close. Why am I bringing this up? Because of course we had to order dinner from them on their last night. And while cheese enchiladas was the first thing to come to mind, I also remembered amazing chili verde, so that is what I ordered. A super burrito, in fact, and I ate it all except for the tortilla. To be accurate, I even ate two bites of that, and practically sucked the sauce off of the rest of it before resigning it to the green waste bowl.
Was it weighed or measured? No. Was it enough vegetables? No. (I did weigh out 5oz of grape tomatoes to eat afterwards, needing to supplement the veg.) And did it have cheese and sour cream and avocado on it? Yes, yes, and yes. And it was delicious, and I have no regrets. I wonder if I had been two weeks into no dairy instead of 2 days if I would have modified my order. But it was the memories, and the emotion, that guided my choice. That luxurious feeling of giving in to something greater than myself.
But it was a 'one plate meal', and there were no seconds, no chips & salsa, no rice and beans on the side. It's all good, and I feel Bright if not dairy free.
If they do re-open in a new location, I will be more careful about what I order, and by then hopefully it will be a vegan choice. In the meantime, I am fired up to make a healthier version of this favorite. How I will achieve the richness without the pork I am not sure, but it's now on my to do list.
Tomorrow is just another opportunity to start over, which is almost every day for me lately, which has become ... a bore? frustrating? ridiculous? I remind myself that beginning over each day is how I have maintained my loss, and that one of these days I will look back and realize how hard I fought, and how I never gave up, and how that led at last to success in reaching a body that is just the perfect size for me.
I hope, I dream, I am unstoppable.
For sure things will change when Cal is finished with treatment, as we slowly trade out the unhealthy snacks for better options, and quit driving through for fast food as we become less afraid of him losing weight. I am intimidated thinking about what his energy level will be like once the Chemo stops, and needing to keep up with him. I will try to think of it as motivation.
I am still listening to Body in Balance, and realizing that once I am off the dairy I need to cut back on the oil. I want to go back to making salad dressings using nuts and vinegars, fruits and herbs, lemon and spices. Once upon a time I had a Magic Bullet, and the smallest cup was perfect for blending up single serve dressings. I may have to do some retail therapy so I can start doing that again this Summer when salads will be on the rise.
My teeth are a little achy from their cleaning at the dentist this afternoon, and I'm a little tired from the day's work, as usual, and just need to stay up enough longer to finish my Sweet & Spicy sleepy time tea before calling it a day.
What the hell, it's almost ten, I'm calling it.
Day.
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