One More Day

Again the desire rose hot in me for a sourdough burger as I approached the exit for JITB while driving home after work. Today the conversation went something like this. 'I should just drive through and get a burger so I can stop thinking about it; I can feel the crunch of the sourdough and the juiciness of the burger'.  'Well you know, they never toast the bread enough, and it was a little disappointing the last time you had one.'  'Yeah, but everything else will be good, and I could get some curly fries.' 'Stop it, there is food at home and you'll feel terrible afterwards if you eat the burger.'  Then I was past the exit and on my way home. Why am I having these old conversations again? I've been passing up fast food for months with rarely a struggle and now I'm back in the ring fighting for my sanity.

I miss the relative calm of the first few months on Bright Line Eating, but even thinking that makes me realize that I am still in a better place then I was before starting BLE.  Before it was a 50/50 chance when I entered one of my battles, but now I can't remember the last time I drove through for a fast food meal. So maybe my saboteur is still trying to turn my head, and I just have to accept that there will be times I do have pull out my sword and go to war. But going into battle knowing you can win, as opposed to feeling desperate and hopeless, is a much better place to be. So tonight I am grateful to be winning, even if I still have to suffer through the fighting.

(b)  breakfast sausage, triscuits, banana
(l)  left over pork, roasted asperagus, orange
(d)  left over baked beans, green salad, yellow mango

Waste not Want not has been so ingrained in my psyche after a quarter century of food service that it's really hard to waste food. So when A cut open a yellow mango and didn't like it, I enjoyed it with my dinner. It was small, rich,  and delicious and I don't regret it at all. My Bad? I don't think so.

It was just another day, another chance to make good choices, and the really big difference on the drive home is that I now truly believe that each good decision makes a world of difference.