A little Peace

Finally a drive home without torment. I even worked late, leaving at 6:30 instead of 4:00, and never thought about stopping to eat on the way home. So nice. But I do need to cook tomorrow. Despite being busy at work I am taking the day off to shop, cook, and clean just to get a better handle on things. Call it a mental health day.

(b)  breakfast sausage, triscuits, banana
(l)  pork steak, peas, green grapes
(d) baked beans, chicken thigh, coleslaw

A friend is using the Noom app to lose weight, and seeing the colour groups they use I thought it might be to encourage eating the more nutritionally dense foods. But no, it's just another way to count calories, like WW. This is what I found online.

"Noom is an app designed to help people lose weight, get fit, and stay healthy. It uses a unique traffic light system to rank foods based on how many calories they contain."

For someone not addicted to flour & sugar, and who loves to use their phone, this could be a valuable tool. I've spent more years than I care to remember counting calories and keeping spreadsheets and it never worked. I would lose a few pounds and then...nothing. I was so convinced it was the right approach (calories in vs calories out) that I was the living definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So I know counting calories doesn't work for me, and I hate using my phone for anything but audio books, texting and pictures.  So not a viable option for me.

Susan's vlog today was about the hourglass shape of Bright Line Eating. How before BLE you probably experienced the freedom of eating what you wanted when you liked. The top of the hourglass. And after that the food plan must feel restrictive, and it does sometimes. I can feel myself being squeezed through the small funnel in the middle. But she assures us that sticking to it, and letting recovery from food addiction take it's natural course, will result in life opening back up again. And I believe her. I can visualize a life that is not wrecked by cravings and uncontrollable urges to eat horrible food. 

So I'm in the middle of the hourglass. Having left the wide open prairies of eating with wild abandon behind me, I am now traveling through the sometimes traumatic neck. But I can see how life will open up again, and I'll be able to fill my life with wild abandon again. Just not around food this time, around bigger and better things. Like cute jeans, and road trips, and swimming.

Today it's all clear again, and I'm glad of the peace.