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Friday, November 28, 2014

Day of Rest

Sometimes I suffer from a common malady known as SMUG. Sometimes this is a front for insecurities, but mostly it's just an awful way to express how much better you are than someone else when in actuality there is no such thing. Seriously, we are each what we are and that's the end of it. I have been known to beat myself up because I...
      didn't join the peace corps
      didn't become a teacher
      don't volunteer as I should
      haven't lived up to my potential.

But I am still walking and breathing, have a home in which I can curl up fed and in warmth, and family to love. That being said, the ego is a horrible beast that can take over at a moments notice if one's integrity is threatened even the tiniest little bit, even if only by one's own stray thought.

Which is a long and round about way of noting I have done absolutely nothing today so some part of me needs to feel smug that I am not one of those out about on Black Friday. I don't need to feel that way, I worked fairly hard on and off for days getting ready for the holiday, and I shouldn't have to justify or explain away a day of rest.

A big part of me doesn't, it's the small little voice telling me how lazy I am that stirs up trouble. Now that it's down in writing I can smother that little beastie with a pillow and go back to left overs and movies - everything that today should be just now.

And I think I hear a turkey sandwich calling my name.

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