Stress Eating

So we were concerned about C this morning, and R ended up driving him in for bloodwork and a follow up with his oncologist. Nothing to worry about it turns out, but the hours in between watching him lay lethargic in his mother's arms and their return home with good news was more than my own true self could bear.

I broke all the lines, and of course now I am sorry, but there was something very powerful about surrendering to the urge to eat. And I was caught up in the storm. First just having a snack of cheese and crackers, and then taking bites of a variety of evils - none of them tasting as I remember or as I thought they should, and none of them satisfying. But the heaviness I was aware of in my middle was an old comfort, and I actually didn't go too crazy. It wasn't a binge, just stress eating, and since I wasn't hungry at dinner time I made the decision to forego that meal. I'm sure I more than made up for the calories in my afternoon break.

So here I am,  after five Bright days, starting over. Again. And once again I have proven to the neural pathways in my brain that I can be seduced from my intentions.  No shame, not really much guilt - just a tiny smidge - because I know I will not eat anything else until breakfast tomorrow. And I know that tomorrow is day one in the next string of Bright days. My stretches are getting longer, and I will focus on that, and how unstoppable I am.

Tomorrow's food:

B:    Farro w/ cinnamon apples sautéed in butter, and Greek yogurt w\dates

L:    Left over vegetable bean soup, green grapes

D:    Cabbage & zucchini lasagna

I need to sit down in the morning after taking inventory in the fridge and plan out some meals before I head out to the store. Maybe some quinoa soup for a change of protein; I'm thinking Mexican meatball soup but quinoa instead of meatballs. I love wilted spinach in soup I think that will work.

I just went to take a peek online and this Butternut & Quinoa recipe sounds amazing too; lots to think about.

It's chilly tonight and my toes are decidedly unhappy as they urge me towards either bed or slippers. I think I am still a little tired from yesterday's headache, and will opt for bed.

TGIF <3