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Friday, December 19, 2008

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I've been trying to help a friend of my son's. He's 23 and constantly in trouble of one sort or another. Upon occasion I provide rides, or a little walking around money, or a bed for the night. But this week...I am done. I believe I have crossed the line between helping and enabling. I probably crossed that line long ago, but because of emotional ties to Joey it's hard to see or feel clearly sometimes. Anyway, after deleting the details of the morning - they are inconsequential - my eyes are finally wide open to how I am not helping him at all and I've told him NO MORE. Long story short I was out in early commute traffic, in the rain, only to be stood up for a favour he had asked of me the night before. Fine, if that's what it took to wake me up I can deal with it. But then, on the way home I was a little pissed, and being an emotional eater I realized I had a job in front of me. I had to fight my way past a pastry cafe ( I actually went in and browsed before leaving and getting back in the car empty handed), a 7-11 (I almost convinced myself I deserved a hot chocolate), two McD's (just a biscuit, I thought, but drove on) and then stopping to pick up a stocking stuffer made it out of the store without anything to eat. Whew! One final push to get past the local 7-11 and I am home, still without breakfast, and needing to vent before heading for the kitchen to make a green smoothie. So I guess he actually he did me a favor; not only am I done enabling him, I am also starting the day empowered by all the tough choices I made on the way home.

Then getting home. I forgot to take the precautionary measure of moving the chair away from the Christmas tree, and darling little Kaylee had gone to town tearing off ornaments and chewing them up. I swear the tree looked like she had jumped in it to find the little bamboo drums that she apparently found irresistible; the golden beads that had been draped so prettily were all askew and there were needles all over the floor. The little brat. Of course, I have been gone a lot more than usual, so I only yelled at her once (WTF?!) and then picked up the wooden shards, rehung the ornaments that weren't ruined, straightened the tree, and vacuumed. She is hiding in her bed. Which reminds me how glad I am I hid the Christmas chocolates in the closet last night so they were not accessible to her on the bureau like they were yesterday.

Big Sigh. The house is crazy messy right now, you know - the chaos just before everything comes together to look and feel Christmasy? So there is lots to do to keep me busy, and while the pain still comes in waves as things remind me of Joey, it is much more manageable than last year.

Back to work. And Breakfast. Which just makes more work. Sigh.

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