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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Ants, ants everywhere and a little Christmas

So today I was greeted by a march of ants coming down from the ceiling into the kitchen to swarm the dog dishes of food and water. Now I'm toxic from spraying and cleaning, I can feel the ants itching all over me and my eyes are weepy from the chemicals. I've taken extra Immune and given Kaylee double her dose of AIO-Canine to detox us from all the crap I sprayed. Of course Mom is coming today, I really needed this extra KP duty. At least the kitchen floor is now spotless, one chore out of the way. And I can't help but wonder....where will they appear next.

Today is about making everything neat and pretty, clearing away the debris of wrapping and empty boxes, making as much room in the house as possible. It's small and we have two overnight guests coming. Not just overnight, for several days. This is good, it will keep me busy and my focus outward instead of inward. Joey is with me all the time these days, his memory hovering around and cloaking me in a mist of regret and despair. But I know it's a cloak I will be able to throw off for part of each day as I prepare for Christmas. And as a distraction, I want to write about that for a moment - why I celebrate Christmas and what it is I think I believe this year.

Jesus was born a son of God just as each of us are. I believe he is one of many who were given the gift of divine sight and the ability to share a little of how and why we are here. Of how we can have a beautiful human experience. And within his teachings are the fundamentals I try to embrace. The ideas of creating heaven and hell on earth, the idea that through death comes rebirth - spiritual as well as physical. That we are all made of light, and can reach a place within ourselves of infinite possibility if we follow a path to enlightenment. This is why I celebrate his birth; I believe he was enlightened, and had many things to teach us about both the human and the spiritual experience. This is a season of joy and hope and love, and I revel in it. I look forward to the moment I step outside on Christmas eve, and feel the soft cold night around me, lit by sparkling stars and suffused with love.

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