My saboteur was in full force this morning as I lay in bed, wondering what the day would bring. Everything was all of a sudden so hopeless and the only future I could imagine was gloomy and fraught with disasters. STOP, I told myself.
The mood didn't last long, before six Cal was peeking in to ask for help with getting his pajama bottoms back on after his trip to the loo. He climbed in and we snuggled while he watched Arthur, and all of a sudden everything was okay. Yes, I should be able to self-soothe at my age, but it's so much easier with a small child to remind you of love and being needed.
My existence confirmed, I got up to start the day. One scoop of real coffee and one scoop of decaf later I was buzzing about setting the house to straights. Laundry in after scrounging about for anything white, dishes set to run and counters wiped down, living room picked up and curtains opened. Then most important of all, unpacking the Fall sheets and changing my bed. There are few things I like more than wearing summer pajamas between flannel sheets at the beginning of the Autumnal season, when it's still too warm for goose down comforters and too cold for cotton sheets.
Exhausted after work last night I rolled into bed - a whole two feet from my desk chair- and never gave a thought to journaling. It's okay, I don't have to be perfect, and I did read from my gratitude journal and mark off my wants of the day before tucking in to bed for the the night. Another Bright night lies behind me, which makes me wonder why I woke up so grumpy. Maybe I should check the moon.
Today's food (8oz veg lunch and 12oz dinner)
- b: triscuits & colgy jack cheese, banana
- l: chopped salad, beans & seeds, bleu cheese dressing, apple
- d: carrot fries, roasted grape tomatoes, jalapeno sausage
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