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Tuesday, August 4, 2015

That sugar film

Unable to sleep last night I ordered a movie on demand and for $8, about the cost of a fast food dinner that I rarely indulge in anymore, I was reminded about why I no longer add sugar to anything and avoid processed foods. The information gleaned from That Sugar Film was not new, but presented in a way I hadn't considered before. Showing the effects in our body of how excess sugar contributes to a fatty liver, triglycerides in our blood stream, and a foggy brain was just the scientific data that I needed last night. It would have been nice to have seen it before I indulged in a lemon yogurt that has 7.5 tsp of sugar. It's no wonder I love this treat that tastes like lemon meringue pie. As an aside, the new guidelines for a woman in the US is six tsp of sugar daily to maintain health. Look at these ingredients, sugar in the fruit puree as well as a stand alone ingredient plus honey. Whew.

Especially pertinent to me in the file was the data on fruit juice, and of course I thought about using fruit in my juicing, and why the ratio of veggie's to fruit is so vital. No more Sunday morning rainbow juices of oranges and apples except on very special occasions. It's a liver killer. I vow to myself here and now that the fruit will always be used sparingly as an accent to the veggies that predominate my juices. I mean, I do know that food in it's natural state is always a better choice, but somewhere along the line (think fat sick and nearly dead) I started thinking of juicing as a way out of my own personal hell. And I am sure that those who can abstain from all other choices and only intake juice for six weeks or more would benefit from all the streamlined nutrition. But I don't think I am (and therefore am not) one of those people. Not right now anyway. And while I do need the nutritional blast I enjoy from juicing while I am in this cooking slump, eventually I need to use it as mostly a vegetable supplement and occasional treat that I mix into a life of whole foods.

This film reminds me of how important it is for me to look outside myself for nutritional support from those I admire and look to for guidance. The three years I spent eating for nutrition I would google something everyday, or read from a Fuhrman book, or use a favorite McDougal recipe. This was my way of creating a supportive atmosphere in a hostile environment, and I need to get back to that survival practice.

I don't expect tonight meeting to deal with nutrition, but hopefully it will be support for my addictive nature. Attack on two fronts - it seems logical, and I seem ready.
No, no and no. I may be ready for something to change, but it is NOT going to be attending OA meetings. I left so depressed by all the negative vibes, but on my way out I also knew that my path forward would have to include laughter and camaraderie, not phone calls to let a sponsor know I had or hadn't eaten something. So at least I learned something. Not to disparage anyone who chooses this path, but I knew within five minutes I was in the wrong room. Rather than feeling a connection it was more like I was planning my escape from the moment I walked in. I stayed for the hour, took my turn reading, and listened thoughtfully trying to find some morsel of hope or inspiration. There was none, not felt by me anyway, just painful memories of Al Anon meetings rising up to haunt me from my past. Visions of empty vodka bottles stacked under the bed are a memory I could live without - at least they weren't under my bed, but in another bedroom of the house we were sharing with outlaws.  Those days are reserved for an especially psychotic section of my imaginary scrap book - I so loved taking care of the two little girls while at the same time dealing with the three adult addicts in the house. Four if you count me - I wasn't long in that atmosphere before I was doing shots of gin before noon and sewing with large glasses of red wine as my companion in the evenings. But I wasn't drunk, just stressed out and coping. How I digress!

So back to the present (okay, I typed future and then replaced it with present) and the current challenges. The sugar film really opened my eyes to the fact that sugary food really does have the same impact on our brain chemistry as love - so how does one get around that? I'll tell you how - greens and omega 3's. The challenge for me is to get started, which is why I went searching for support. But it looks like I need to ..excuse the phrase.. just do it.

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