I am very peased about the cashew milk. No sugar, a healthy fat, low in calories, and my smoothie is super creamy and satisfying. I did think about picking up fast food (I had been invited to breakfast with M and A but declined wanting to stay here and putter) but only for a moment. I had already had my decaf - oops, forgot to log my cream this morning; i'll add it now so it's in the daily totals later - and it was already getting warm out; it will be another triple digit day. So a cold smoothie seemed like just the ticket for breakfast, and I am glad I did. I know I burned out on them a few years ago when I was in losing mode, and I will moderate my use this time around in hopes that doesn't happen again. We should chew our food as much as possible, and a smoothie is still 'processed' no matter how healthy the ingredients. I will say it is a great vehicle for a blast of greens in the morning, as are roasted potatoes but that is another breakfast for another day - like next weekend when I am visiting Mom.
Back to sipping and puttering on a quiet Sunday morning.
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What if my perspective is slightly skewed? I know from my favorite critical thinking class in college that we all look at things differently based on our personal experience. What if the trait I think of as obsessive and therefore avoid, is actually focus and I have misused this ability my whole life? What if I let myself go and become 'obsessed' with my eating for a few weeks? Realizing that perhaps it is just me focusing on something important. Interesting. So in a flash of inspiration I created a summary sheet in my tracking file letting my 'focus' take hold and drive. Below is a sneak preview; i'll just copy and paste the totals from each day's record into the summary and post that each three days. In the meantime if I feel the urge to share something daily I will, and it won't be about me wasting time being obsessive, it will be about spending time to focus on something that really matters to me. Like my weight and how it relates to my health, so I added a weight column. Hey, I am down .2 pounds from the last time I recorded my weight on January 1st. Ha!
I can already see that this will be a good tool for gauging my eating habits from a broader view. Isn't that what the weight loss 'experts' say? To look at a long term graph and not the daily ups and downs? I am already thinking about drilling down this summary sheet (which is set up for three days) to a 30 day sheet and then use that to graph my progress. See how fast it snowballs? But I will think of it as focus and not obsession or compulsion and see where it takes me. So, I have given myself permission to be crazy for a month. "There are worse things I could do."
Good Grief, it's Eleven O'Clock and I am still in my jammies - better get moving!
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And here is how a few bad decisions can turn a day bad number wise. Eating leftovers and saying yes when asked if I wanted anything from In N Out. Everything was over. Too much. Fattening.
But the idea of tracking is waking up to how each decision impacts your overall success or failure. I was short a few calories yesterday so that will help, and my summary sheet is formatted to track weekly. I can see how doing this before kept me focused, having to look up everything new to add the sugar grams takes time and some level of dedication. Ugh. There is a voice crying out inside of me that I am above this, that I shouldn't be doing this, that I just need to follow the Fuhrman six week program and not count anything. And then there is the reality of my body and how even knowing that I have not been doing it, and maybe I just need to do this instead for a bit to get headed back in the right direction. Like for a month so I can actually use my summary sheet.
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