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Thursday, August 6, 2015

A cool morning turned bad

I love these cool summer mornings, and being able to invite Kaylee to snuggle with me without burning up. On the way to work I skipped breakfast in order to stop at the Lab for my follow up blood work the Dr. had ordered to see how my thyroid meds were doing. Or rather, how I was reacting to them. Overall I don't see much of a change so it will be interesting to see the results.

Afterwards I stopped for my decaf coffee with cream and couldn't help but reminisce a bit over yesterday's sugar. But all it took was a brief moment of reflection upon what the sugar does in our bodies to make me content with my current cup. With the 'added' sugar portion of my life under control it's time to thin out the desserts that crop up at home way too often. Along with bread and cheese. But I am making progress, indulging less and less often. I can't remember the last time I picked up a loaf of bread. I do remember that I have been actively saying no to myself every time I think how lovely it would be to have cheese and crackers for dinner.

Speaking of dinner, A and I are throwing together a chicken pot pie tonight and I need to stop and pick up stock and a container of mirepoix on the way home this afternoon. Not that A cares about the veggies, she is all about the 'dough and gravy'. That's my girl. But I (we) are saying no to her sweet tooth more often and she actually ate a little broccoli with dinner last night. 

Sigh, I should be working, not blathering, so off I go.
A full afternoon has left me tired, and the results of this morning's blood work have me a little down. I went in to get massaged and stretched before heading towards home, picking up a few items at the store and three small children before I arrived. Two hours of swimming, then home to make chicken pot pie for the Fam's dinner. (A had two servings, veggies and all!) While it was cooking I headed back out to pick up dog food and I am more recently just in from taking out garbage. So yes, I have been moving all day, I am sore in many many places, and tired to the bone. I will not be doing any dishes tonight.

So I have some thinking to do. My bad cholesterol went up and my good cholesterol went down. That sucks, but given the amount of ice cream eaten in the past few months not really surprising. And my ATL numbers were back up - and OMG here I am venting about personal health problems twenty years too soon. I've been doing it all year, and it angers me. I need to channel this anger, but after writing here for almost ten years I have solved nothing, apparently learned nothing, and am in pretty much the same place as when I started.

I do have a better handle on being grateful, and I am gainfully employed, but in the long run it's hasn't helped my health or weight or peace of mind. I won't say what's the point, because the act of writing does give me a certain sense of release, and at times even joy as my fingers fly across the keyboard.

But I am disappointed on so many levels. Super Big Sigh.

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