Tight Clothes

One of the reasons I feel the need to shed some pounds right away is that I have only one outfit to wear to work that isn't tight and uncomfortable. I wear it on Tuesdays. I know each week that there is one day I can look nice and be comfortable and not have to frantically search through my options to find something that is both presentable for our office environment and big enough that I won't be nauseous in an hour from toxins being pressed from my organs as my clothes bind and strangle me. This is not Tuesday, it's Thursday, and I have nothing at hand that I feel good about wearing. Stretchy top, stretchy  pants, all outlining the curves and bulges because while they may be stretchy, they have become too small and fit me like the proverbial glove's smaller sister. Why can I not remember this feeling of disgust in the afternoon while I am driving home from work? I am focused in the morning, making a healthy breakfast and packing a nutritious lunch, taking enough water and wearing shoes I can walk in (Crocks). But on the drive home I am all the things I learned one can not be in order to be successful at this whole being happy and losing weight thing. Weight Watchers called it HALT: never be too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. And on the way home from work I am all of those things. I know I am responsible for feeling that way, that I should be able to dig deep and find ways to change my thoughts and my circumstances. But knowing that I should be able to do that, and still not doing it, only makes me feel a failure all over again.

So instead of explaining why I feel all of those things every afternoon, I shall take a few moments here to restate in the positive and try to at least get the morning back on track.

a. I will soon wear clothes that are cute and comfy.
b. I will exercise daily to improve my stiffness.
c. I will start keeping apples in the car again to eat on the drive home.
d. My house will 'rise up to greet me' when I get home from work.

This is all possible, and heading my way. I can see it, can feel it, and each day brings me closer if I do the work. Today I will do the work and be glad of it. Today I will do the work and be grateful for all the little things that make it possible for one's life to change for the better.