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Saturday, September 5, 2015

'Grant me the strength'

Well that was a few days struggling to keep my head above water.

    I ate chocolate at work for the first time all year
    I added white sugar to my coffee one morning
    I gorged on cashews one afternoon

I could go on but it's ugly and I don't want to travel those nine yards ever again. Instead I will just get on with it.

I was browsing through the blogs listed on Sean's site when I caught the subject line, "Throwing in the Towel" and thought, that could be me. Has been me, so many times. But I am not ready to give up. I have a plan, a list of issues I need to address, and I have already checked off one of them. I'm going to keep going until there is no longer a list, and I am going to figure out a way to keep my focus alive while doing it. I am.
On this night we celebrated R's birthday. I can't begin to explain what this child means to me. She was my first, the child I dreamed of years before she was born, and the beginning of the woman I would become while realizing the responsibility of raising children. I am so grateful she was born to me, that I can see both Joey and their father in her beautiful face as well as the strong woman she has become on her own. As A would say, I love her to the moon and back. I guess most of us feel that way about our children, and just like most parents I think she is the most special of all. My thanks go out to the universe.

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